Change, Children, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships, Uncategorized

How To Raise A Confident Daughter

A Confident Daughter!

As I watch young girls today, I remember how it felt to be going through the changes, the insecurities, and the feeling of being invisible. I do not recall the age I started to loose my confidence, looking back I just thought it was something I never had.
What can we do as mothers to help these beautiful souls through this transition time, the transition to unconditional self-love?
Here are 5 ways I have found very useful. I hope they are to you as well.

1 I have noticed that young girls talk, and they talk a lot, about nothing necessary in particular. They need to give you every single detail and play by play. Does your daughter ever come up to you while you are texting, or sending an email and just start to talk? They talk and talk and they know you are not 100% listening. I can only imagine what that is telling their little brains. (No one really wants to hear what I have to say. What I say is not important.) The list must go on and on. The problem is we as parents and them as children are not even aware of it.

When you are doing something and she comes up and starts talking, turn to her and say, “What you have to say is very important, you do not have my full attention right now. Can you please wait a moment and I will let you know when you do have my full attention. “Finish what you are doing and then sit down with her and ask her about the 5 most important parts of the story. That is if you don’t have time to hear the entire thing.

2 Provide as much one on one time with your young lady. It does not have to be an entire day, but if it is, enjoy as the things you can learn from her are amazing. Even if you just have 15 minutes a day to hang out, read and do something she enjoys. Just ensure she gets all of your attention during that time.

3 Most of the time, your daughters are going to turn into a little mini you. When they talk, or laugh, or wine, or do anything people may say.. oh you are just like your mom. In those minutes PLEASE own your awesomeness. There is nothing to be embarrassed about here. She is a beautiful, untainted reflection of your spirit. As you love her unconditionally, you must love yourself unconditionally.
4 It is important to separate our daughters from their actions. For example, never say to your child, you are bad. You would say, you are good, but you made a bad choice. Help your lovely daughter understand the difference between herself, who is always amazing and her choices and her actions. Confidence is bread in this step and is extremely important in the self-confidence of young girls.

5 Do not be afraid to sit in the dark with your little angel. When they have had a bad day and they feel no one likes them anymore sit with them. We are quick to say, but honey, you are amazing. Or something like, well that other person is not nice so just ignore them. That does not make our little girls feel better. It does nothing for them. Sitting in the dark with them means telling them about a time you have felt like they are feeling. Tell them how you felt. It is better that they understand sometimes life is not perfect and they will feel knocked down, but make sure they know they are not alone. They are not the first to feel this way or the last. As women we excel in community and understanding. Raise her confidence by sharing with her she is not alone.

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Financial, Personal Development, Perspectives, Uncategorized

A New Operating System

We all know to change our results, we have to change our thinking. We have to change the patterns that are going on in our mind and allow our actions to reflect that change.
Implementing a new operating system for your mind can take time and it can feel uncomfortable. So much so, that it becomes easy and tempting to go back to the old system. Even though the old system is not what you want running your life, because you did not like the results from that system. It sometimes feels more comfortable then the transition to the new one.
My old system was programmed to tell me to be busy all the time and that would equal the success I wanted. I find out that system must have had a bug in it, because it was the farthest thing from the truth. I missed time with my kids, with my husband, I was not bringing in the number of clients I wanted to or the finances. I was busy, busy all day long, but I am not sure what I got done. I knew I needed a new operating system. I have been at work building this system through personal development for many years, and just a few weeks ago I launched it. Man oh man, was it tough. I wanted to disconnect it and throw it away. My mind was used to being so busy and running every scenario every which way all day long. Now, my mind is still. It freaked me out a little bit. When I say still, I mean 100% improvement from before, but I still have work to do.
I called one of my beloved partners in believing and I said, I am losing my mind, there is nothing in there and it feels uncomfortable. HELP! We chatted. You see most of the time as women we just need someone to hold the space for us to figure our own stuff out. I have manifested the best partners in believing in the world.
The longer the new system was running, the more and more comfortable with it I have become.
Change takes time. It does not always feel good. It is like a mud bath, icky while you are in it, but you come out glowing. If you want something different, you have to do something different. You cannot solve a problem with the same level of mind that created that problem. Go ahead, get comfortable being uncomfortable. Close the door behind you and start thinking your way to the success you desire with your new system. Your system may break down from time to time, but that is why you have surrounded yourself with amazing partners, so they can hold a space for you to fix your loose wire and carry on.

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Change, Children, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Uncategorized

Helping our world with ADHD, Autism and Aspergers

I was just listening to one of my favorite physics, Elizabeth April this morning and a question was poised to her about what is it that we are being called to do with all the commotion going on around the world. She channeled and responded that we are being asked to expand.
So, what does that mean?
Expansion can mean different things to different people. Oxford dictionary describes expansion as:
The action of becoming larger or more extensive.
To me this means, that we must expand our thinking, our vibration, our actions, our hearts, ourselves and all of this has to come from inside of us, where our root of expansion exists. Expansion means doing and or being something that you have not yet. Many people are fearful of expansion because it means they have to let go of things that no longer serve them in order to make room for what does. As the world changes, are mindset has to as well. For years we have relied on others to make the world work for us. Now we are being called to expand, to speak, to share, to love.
I have a passion for kids. I have a very strong passion for kids that do not fit into the regular school system, the norms of society. Those children usually come with a label of ADHD, Aspergers, and or Autism. Sometimes they do not have one of those labels. These are children that vibrate much higher than people have in the past. Some call them star seeds.
These children help us expand.
How is it that these children are helping humanity expand?
These children are our greatest gifts. They require we shift the way things have always been done. They are challenging our school systems, our medical systems, their families, the way we parent, all of society. (Side note: Kids become who you tell them they are, so ensure you are telling them every day how wonderful, loved and important they are, just the way they are.) They may challenge you, they may embarrass you. You may not understand them. All of that being said, it is imperative that you understand they too have a purpose and job to do here. It is our job to bridge the past to the future so these children can do what is called upon them to do. Meaning, helping them survive in our world, but not take away from who they are. Those labeled children are our saviors.
They are here to up level the consciousness of humanity. When you do the same thing with the same level of thought that you have always done and expect a different result, there is no way you are going to get it.
We have to do something different to experience something different. We have been praying for help here on earth for a long time. These children are raising the vibration, they are the answers to our prayers.
My wish is that when you have the privilege to be around one of these children, any child actually, that you see through some of the behavior, to the earth angel that is there under those actions, under the running around, under the tantrum. Quietly, in your mind, thank them and smile.
We think as adults we are the teachers and although we have lots to teach, the children of today have more to teach us.

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Beleife Systems, Change, Personal Development, Perspectives

Don’t Mind Your Own Business

Don’t Mind Your Own Business
Today I was at the grocery store as I overheard the lady in front of me speak the cashier as though she knew her and they were exchanging stories about how they each had a child that would never be able to drive. One lady has a child that has a brain tumor, not caner, but it affects their vision. The other lady’s son has undiagnosed seizures. As they were speaking I gently leaned my way into the conversation and asked if they have heard of books by Dr Joe Dispenza. You see I am currently reading, “You are the Placebo” and I am reading about many people who have overcome illness and pain with their minds. Yes, that is right with their minds.
Now this concept is not too uncommon for me as I have 15 years in the energy healing world and the more I treat people, the more I recognize the power they have within them to heal themselves with their mindset. They have way more power to heal themselves, then I do to heal them. I however hold a space for them to do the powerful work of healing themselves.
The ladies had never heard of Dr. Joe Dispenza before, so they wrote the name down and thanked me.
I may never know if they bought the book, if they attend Dr. Dispenza’s seminars, or if their children heal. What I do know is that I had a piece of information that maybe helpful to them and I would be doing a disservice if I did not say anything. For all I know, they will buy the book, they will go to his seminars and their children will heal along with their family growing.
There are too many times we mind our own business. I am not sure about you, but when I was growing up, I was told to mind my own business all the time. The problem with that is that you may be able to help someone, make their day, and change their life. I think we mind our own business too much these days. Many of us would not know if our neighbor was being robbed, because we are minding our own business. Our world is seeking community. Not a judgmental community, but a place where people are looking out for people, where people care, where people will get involved to make it a better place.
There is a difference between being judgmental, sharing your opinion and holding others hostage to that and just sharing information to be helpful. I trust you will figure out the difference and be a trailblazer for not minding your own business, in the powerful uplifting caring loving way.

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Uncategorized

How to Make A Dream Board That Works

You know that feeling where you are running and running and you feel like you are getting nowhere. I know I have felt that feeling a time or two. That feeling of having vision and dreams, that seem so far off because they are so big and there are so many of them. That overwhelming feeling sets in deep. You start to feel like you have accomplished nothing, nor are you ever going to accomplish anything.
Although I can still get caught up in those feelings from time to time, it is much less since I have discovered and used the power of a DREAM board.
As a little girl I had many dreams for when I would become an adult. Some are still my dreams now. The problem was as I got older I would put more and more dreams in my backpack for “someday”. Dreams like, get married to the best man ever, have 5 children, a country property, a wonderful guard dog, have an international bestselling book, be a highly sought after public speaker and trainer, own my own home building company, where we build beautiful homes and great relationships with our clients. Homes that are blessed with love and laughter. Heal the world, help people see how wonderful they are. Be active, downhill ski, run, mountain bike, swim, water ski, rent a cottage, travel. The list goes on and on, working with kids, being a teacher.
I started off on my journey, but before long I was not doing so great academically and was asked to go for extra help at a special school. I soon began to believe, that the things I dreamed of I could not do, because I was not smart enough. I started to settle for second best, then third best, soon it did not even matter if I came in last place. As a young adult I worked at great places, but I never loved what I was doing. I thought, I would love to do more training, but then I would think, what if I had to write something and then spell it wrong. I could never do that. I am not worth more than the low standards I set for myself.
As life would have it, earth angels did appear. I was guided into the energy healing world. At the time I was sure I was going to have a very successful full practice and do this forever, finally my calling. I started, and I had a full part-time practice. Learning and growing through helping others, I could not help, but help myself and my negative beliefs about my abilities. In no time I was into the life coaching world as a Dream Builder Coach. It was just before that Dream Boards were introduced to me.
I always thought they were a bit silly, but my husband and I had a lady come to our house to teach a course on the law of attraction and she shared how what she put on the board had come to fruition. I thought I better try this out and see for myself what a crock this is. Seriously those were my thoughts.
So, I did. I spend an entire Mother’s day making my vision board about three years ago. There were so many things on it. I looked through magazines and pictures on the internet and pasted everything to two big bristle boards. Done, I thought. The thing is pictures are only a part of the laws of attraction. The other part are the feelings each picture creates. I went through each picture and placed the feeling it gave me. I did have to take some things off because the feeling was not what I thought it was going to be. Those are the things I thought I should want, but did not really. This is an important step you do not want to forget. When you are working on your board, put the feelings beside each one and connect to each feeling daily while looking at your board.
Looking at my board today I can see how many things I have accomplished. I leave the pictures and feelings up to remind myself I am living my dream each and every day. Some things are checked off like a really cool pair of red rain boots, others are a work in progress, others have not happened yet.
People use to ask me, or my friends…what Jackie is doing now. As if to imply I am always changing my direction. Always busy in a really negative way. To a degree I understood there tones, but when you realize that everything you do leads you to the next thing, and you have big dreams, you have to learn how not to be scared to leave one thing and do another. Many of us get caught up in that, do one thing for the rest of your life, that one thing that you really do not like and does not pay well. Many of us get caught up in playing it safe. For some of you that really works, for others like me, who want to do one thing, rock it and move onto the next, you are what is called a multipotentialight. Yes, there is a name for people like us.
This blog is all about dreaming big, having courage and putting it down on paper. Use a Dream Board to keep you focused on where you want to go, what you want to do, who you want to be and celebrate where you have been. It is a powerful tool.
Happy Boarding!

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Uncategorized

Stop Interrupting Me

“He is always interrupting me”, said my husband.

The physiologist said that my child interrupts because he does not care what anyone else is saying. He is attached to what he wants to say and do and that is the end of the story.

Last night my husband and I were talking about how, not only does our son interrupt him, I often interrupt him. We are doing some relationship work through Alison Armstrong and I said to him, I am completely aware I interrupt you and am working on it, but do you know why I interrupt you so much? He said no. So I told him. “When I interrupt you it is because I have a thought and if I do not say it, it is gone. When my thought is gone, so is my attention and then when you are done talking and it is my turn, I say nothing because I have nothing to say. I have to work very hard to keep my thought in my mind and not interrupt. When I do that though, sometimes I do not hear you either because I just keep saying my thought over and over again so that I remember it when you are done talking. Sometimes I write down my thought so I can listen and pay attention more clearly.”
I am not saying that I should always be able to interrupt him when he is speaking. I am sharing why I do it and why it is hard to not do it.
This plays into our parenting because our son will interrupt people when they are talking and my husband will tell him to wait and then after, my son has forgotten what he was going to say and my husband picks at him, saying, Oh I guess it was not even important if you cannot remember it. It infuriates me.
It was not until last night when we had this conversation about why I interrupt so much that my husband realized what was going on with our son and that his response was harsh. I am blessed to have a husband that is able to look at things from a different perspectives. It was great for me too because of what I go through and always have. I just assumed everyone was like that. It turns out, that is not the case. My husband asked me if every time he comes down on our son for interrupting, I feel attacked, because I am a lot like our son in a lot of ways. The truth is I do and that is why I am continuously running to his defense, which also causes issues in our marriage. I will blog on the defensive mom soon.
For now, remember these strategies:
1 – Seek first to understand. There is a reason people behave the way they do
2 – Get a piece of paper so the child/adult can write down their thought
3- Ensure you practice what you preach, do not interrupt others if you do not want them to interrupt you.
4 – Help them remember

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Uncategorized

A World Vision

I do not like CBC, nor do I listen often, however I was driving in the car and the CBC radio channel was on with an interview from Chris Kutarna. I only listened to his 10 minute interview, but could not help but be inspired for what will come in 2017.

I wanted to share his thoughts with you, as I share much of his perspective. I share this with you in the hope you will see how much wonderful possibility 2017 holds in a time of uncertainty.

As we head into 2017, there is a lot of fear and worry because that is what we see and we focus on. There is also so much good in the world. Yes, the worst is possible, but what else is possible????? If the worst is possible so is the best.

In the last few years life has presented so much information about Universal laws, our conscious thoughts, and the power that we have within. Why, Why now?

It is because now is the time in which we need to understand no one is coming to save us. No one is coming to whisk us away to a castle on the hill. We have a responsibility to think conscious thoughts and create with vision and passion. It is up to each of us.

Up until now life was always taken care of, we did not have to think about it. Now it seems as nothing is stable and we feel a mess. Yet, that is the beauty of it all. It is a time of creation of what we want.

Vision a future you are proud of, take action, stand up and be seen. It is a time where hope and compassion and faith must be activated and practiced.

Is what I say true, or just fluff? Does each person really have that kind of power? I deeply believe it to be true along with many conscious thinkers in my circle. But what if it is not?

Here is what I think…If the worst is to happen I have two choices….sit in worry and anxiety and get sick about it until it may or may not happen, or vision what I want to happen, live with a warm heart, practice compassion daily.

If I have to choose how to spend my time, my thoughts and my energy. I chose to spend it in a higher vibration.

We each have a choose how we see what is possible. The next time fear says this will happen, say to yourself…yes it could….then ask yourself what else could happen? What good could happen? Then focus on what makes you feel best.

I do not have all the answers, but I do feel strongly about the power of vision and dreaming BIG. The principles of dreaming big and taking action has changed my business life, my finances, my marriage, the way I parent, the person I am, the thoughts I think, the actions I take. 6 years ago I would not say I loved myself very much. Today, I know I do.
My Christmas wish is for you to see your light, how great and powerful you are and to use it starting now.
#dreambigbebold

http://www.cbc.ca/radio/thecurrent

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