Career, Change, Children, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships, Uncategorized

BUSTING THROUGH BULLYING

Bullying is not a new behavior. It is as old as time and it does not seem to matter where you are, if you look round you can see some type of bullying. Whether that be on the school yard, in a family, or at work. The dictionary describes bullying as: use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants. I describe it as a person whose heart is hurt. Here are 5 ways you can help yourself and others, regardless of age, handle bullies.
You must first understand your energy. Everything is energy and there is something in your energy that you are giving off that allows you to be a target for being mistreated. The best news about this is, that you can change that. I will share with you some ways how to do that.

1 Confidence has a big part to play here. Chances are you have felt that for some reason you are not enough. Because you do not fit into the norm, you feel like you don’t belong anywhere. Write a list of all the things that make you “different” then beside that write down the best parts about each of those things.

2 Love and forgiveness are essential when dealing with a bully. Not just for yourself, but for the other person. The bully is bullying you to take the pressure and attention off of them. The problem is when we are scared or even hate them, it lowers our vibration and weakens our energy. People are either calling for love or giving love. The problem is so many are unskilled at their calling for love. Try sending a mental prayer to the bully. When we hold hate, we have to be on guard of it. It takes our time, our attention and our energy. This simple intention will shift your energy and confidence. Even the bully has a story and although it is not right what they are doing, by sending love it shifts both of your energy. Remember, you may be the first person that has shown them compassion.
Example: I do not like the way you behave and it is not right. Your heart must be broken. I wish for healing for you. (said in your mind)

3 No one can make you feel any way in which you do not give them permission to make you feel. It is as if you have a crystal within your heart and when someone is mean to you and you feel sad because of it, it is only because you have allowed that other person to have power over you. You have allowed them to have your crystal. Mentally take your crystal back, knowing that no one can get to you when your crystal is home in your heart.

4 – 1-2-3 Rule – Follow this basic guideline.
Step 1, ask the person to stop
Step 2, tell an adult, if you are an adult, share what is happening with another person. Shame and blame love secrets and they grow in environments of silence. Share what is going on, with a trusted friend, family member or a counselor.
Step 3 – Stand up for yourself. We know physical violence is not the answer, however there are other ways to stand up to someone.

5 – Remember this is happening for a higher purpose. Help someone else. You know how it feels to be bullied. When you see someone else who is sad, angry, upset, lend a hand, an ear, or a shoulder. What you have experienced is not wasted. You have been chosen to experience it so that you can help others.
You are stronger then you will ever know. You are smarter than most and your heart is big and beautiful. The world needs you to shine, so don’t let someone with a hurt heart dim your light. Rise above and become someone they can aspire to be. Remember, maybe they have not had the guidance to be bright and loving. Maybe they are being bullied. None of that makes it ok. Compassion is one of the best healers and confidence builder.

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Change, Children, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships, Uncategorized

How To Raise A Confident Daughter

A Confident Daughter!

As I watch young girls today, I remember how it felt to be going through the changes, the insecurities, and the feeling of being invisible. I do not recall the age I started to loose my confidence, looking back I just thought it was something I never had.
What can we do as mothers to help these beautiful souls through this transition time, the transition to unconditional self-love?
Here are 5 ways I have found very useful. I hope they are to you as well.

1 I have noticed that young girls talk, and they talk a lot, about nothing necessary in particular. They need to give you every single detail and play by play. Does your daughter ever come up to you while you are texting, or sending an email and just start to talk? They talk and talk and they know you are not 100% listening. I can only imagine what that is telling their little brains. (No one really wants to hear what I have to say. What I say is not important.) The list must go on and on. The problem is we as parents and them as children are not even aware of it.

When you are doing something and she comes up and starts talking, turn to her and say, “What you have to say is very important, you do not have my full attention right now. Can you please wait a moment and I will let you know when you do have my full attention. “Finish what you are doing and then sit down with her and ask her about the 5 most important parts of the story. That is if you don’t have time to hear the entire thing.

2 Provide as much one on one time with your young lady. It does not have to be an entire day, but if it is, enjoy as the things you can learn from her are amazing. Even if you just have 15 minutes a day to hang out, read and do something she enjoys. Just ensure she gets all of your attention during that time.

3 Most of the time, your daughters are going to turn into a little mini you. When they talk, or laugh, or wine, or do anything people may say.. oh you are just like your mom. In those minutes PLEASE own your awesomeness. There is nothing to be embarrassed about here. She is a beautiful, untainted reflection of your spirit. As you love her unconditionally, you must love yourself unconditionally.
4 It is important to separate our daughters from their actions. For example, never say to your child, you are bad. You would say, you are good, but you made a bad choice. Help your lovely daughter understand the difference between herself, who is always amazing and her choices and her actions. Confidence is bread in this step and is extremely important in the self-confidence of young girls.

5 Do not be afraid to sit in the dark with your little angel. When they have had a bad day and they feel no one likes them anymore sit with them. We are quick to say, but honey, you are amazing. Or something like, well that other person is not nice so just ignore them. That does not make our little girls feel better. It does nothing for them. Sitting in the dark with them means telling them about a time you have felt like they are feeling. Tell them how you felt. It is better that they understand sometimes life is not perfect and they will feel knocked down, but make sure they know they are not alone. They are not the first to feel this way or the last. As women we excel in community and understanding. Raise her confidence by sharing with her she is not alone.

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Change, Children, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Uncategorized

Helping our world with ADHD, Autism and Aspergers

I was just listening to one of my favorite physics, Elizabeth April this morning and a question was poised to her about what is it that we are being called to do with all the commotion going on around the world. She channeled and responded that we are being asked to expand.
So, what does that mean?
Expansion can mean different things to different people. Oxford dictionary describes expansion as:
The action of becoming larger or more extensive.
To me this means, that we must expand our thinking, our vibration, our actions, our hearts, ourselves and all of this has to come from inside of us, where our root of expansion exists. Expansion means doing and or being something that you have not yet. Many people are fearful of expansion because it means they have to let go of things that no longer serve them in order to make room for what does. As the world changes, are mindset has to as well. For years we have relied on others to make the world work for us. Now we are being called to expand, to speak, to share, to love.
I have a passion for kids. I have a very strong passion for kids that do not fit into the regular school system, the norms of society. Those children usually come with a label of ADHD, Aspergers, and or Autism. Sometimes they do not have one of those labels. These are children that vibrate much higher than people have in the past. Some call them star seeds.
These children help us expand.
How is it that these children are helping humanity expand?
These children are our greatest gifts. They require we shift the way things have always been done. They are challenging our school systems, our medical systems, their families, the way we parent, all of society. (Side note: Kids become who you tell them they are, so ensure you are telling them every day how wonderful, loved and important they are, just the way they are.) They may challenge you, they may embarrass you. You may not understand them. All of that being said, it is imperative that you understand they too have a purpose and job to do here. It is our job to bridge the past to the future so these children can do what is called upon them to do. Meaning, helping them survive in our world, but not take away from who they are. Those labeled children are our saviors.
They are here to up level the consciousness of humanity. When you do the same thing with the same level of thought that you have always done and expect a different result, there is no way you are going to get it.
We have to do something different to experience something different. We have been praying for help here on earth for a long time. These children are raising the vibration, they are the answers to our prayers.
My wish is that when you have the privilege to be around one of these children, any child actually, that you see through some of the behavior, to the earth angel that is there under those actions, under the running around, under the tantrum. Quietly, in your mind, thank them and smile.
We think as adults we are the teachers and although we have lots to teach, the children of today have more to teach us.

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Financial, Job, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships

Feeling Bad = More Bad

Have you ever wondered if you maybe addicted to the feeling flirting gives you?

 

Have you ever really enjoyed the feeling you get when you flirt.  So much so that it makes you want to do it again and again. You feel alive and free, like you are being truly seen for the sweet, sexy rock start that lives deep within, the one that is not acceptable to come out to play often, if ever.

 

So now you are flirting, you are having fun, but a guilt feeling starts to arise within you.  Is this wrong, would my spouse be made and the question of maybe I should stop occurs to you.

 

So you stop, but the longer you stop the more you think about how incredible the flirting made you feel and the more think about that the more guilt arises up, up, up.

 

Here is my question….do we continue to flirt because we love the feeling or because in some way it covers up the guilt we felt in the first place. I mean if we flirt a little more, the thing we did before is not so bad. Now we just have to cover up this flirting guilt, so we do it again and flirt even bigger and so on and so on. You get the picture….yes?

 

What would it look like if when we did something that we felt bad for or guilty for we allowed ourselves to forgive and move forward with no residual guilt. Would we continue to do things we feel are wrong to cover up the feelings of the last thing we did that we feel is wrong or would we be able to let go and grow.

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Financial, fired, Job, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships

How do you know if you are Enough?

What does it look like when you wake up in the morning and you are enough?

 

“Come on Jonny, you can do it.  Keep going you could go pro if you tried harder, worked longer, wanted it bad enough.  You could be the BEST.”

Jonny played hockey when he was a young boy.  Although his parents thought skating 7 days a week and practice, practice, practice was the best thing for Jonny, he never improved much.   He made the team, but just barely.  This particular team would go out of town for tournaments and Jonny’s parents would send him with a team member’s family. His parents never attended the out of town games.  Low and behold, when Jonny was out of town he played like a star.  Skated faster, got more goals and was an enthusiastic team member. Then he would come back home and be just an average player.

Hockey was never about young Jonny.  Hockey was about his parents.  It would not matter what he did, how he played, he would NEVER be ENOUGH for his family until he was THE BEST.

Jonny’s parents put him in other sports along the way, always wanting him to be THE BEST, not to do his best, but be THE BEST.  Anything less was just not good enough.

Eventually little Jonny just stopped trying. Unless he was going to be the best, there was no point doing anything.  He was now completely conditioned that he would never be enough.”

 

While I was on my way to Florida this February, I sat down beside a man that is in the grocery business.  In a matter of 10 minutes I knew he was a lovely man, a kind man and an ambitious man.   We entertained each other with a long 3 hour delightful conversation.  At one point we were talking about motivation and what it means to always be reaching and stretching for bigger and better.  With a renewed hunger for success I started to think about that concept and although I understand it as many of us do, I think it sucks!

I know the feeling waking up every morning yearning, searching, trying to be more so I can have more.  It is always, more, more, more, a longing, a sense of deprivation.  The implication that comes with more, more, more is that you are not enough now. Many of us have this idea that once we have accomplished our goals, aspirations, then we will be enough. But until that day we are far from enough.

 

Ask yourself this question – What would it look like if every day you woke up and first thing you did is recognize you are enough.  DONE!  END OF STORY!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Depletion
Enough
ROCK STAR!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Most of us wake up in the morning and begin our day in the state of depletion.  One the one side there is deprivation and depletion, you are not enough.  When you are here, things are never good, there is always something that you have to be doing or thinking before you are enough.

In the middle you are enough, this is the place of peace when you wake up.

On the other side you have achieved your goals and dreams….your MORE.

Being enough is in the middle, you have to get to that point in order to have what you desire.  You will not only have it, but you will feel complete while achieving it.  You will not be running from a place of less, a place of not enough.

You cannot go from a place of depletion straight to achievement.  You have to pass through the middle, so why not start in the middle.  This way you do not have to catch up or bail yourself out of a deep whole before heading toward your dreams and aspirations.

Anything you achieve beyond the neutral state of I am enough is a bonus, but it does not define you, it cannot define you because you are enough.   You are still stretching and reaching for a higher place, we all are because life is seeking a fuller, freer, expanded expression through each one of us.  That expression can never be fully met until we recognize that we are enough today, this very minute.

What could you accomplish if you woke up tomorrow morning and you were enough, just the way you are.  What could you do from a place of enough, vs a place of depletion?

You are enough right now.  Move forward at an expedited rate with a passion, zest and confidence.

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Financial, Job, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships

Do Women Put To Much Emotion Into Their Decisions?

Do Women Put To Much Emotion Into Their Decisions?

 

 

Hell NO!!!!!

 

How many times have you been told, or told someone take the emotion out of it.  Do not make a decision when you are emotional.   I am not sure how this works for men as they typically do not show as many emotions, however I do know that women do not need to take their emotions out when making a decision.  In fact, I plead with the women reading this that they do not take out or separate themselves from their emotions.

 

First of all let’s look at the word emotional.  What do you think of when you hear that word?   Sad, Worry, Fear.  We have been conditioned that when we hear the word emotional it has a negative association with it, what about the emotions of love, excitement, happiness?

 

Should we not make decisions when those emotions are involved.  Are we to not make a decision in life, unless we are sure about it and can look at it with no emotion?  In girl world that is a crazy concept.

 

Women’s emotional centres in our brains are larger.  We say yes to marriage because we feel we are in love.

 

In the past I have not been the best at making decisions. In fact I hated the entire process.  I would always ask someone I was with to make the decision even if it is not what I wanted to do; I would go along with it.

 

When I had made my decision to leave my job one of my male coworkers said that they were concerned because I they felt I was making my decision based on emotions and once I relaxed a bit I would wish I had made a different choice.

 

I use to hate making decisions because I thought I was supposed to take the emotion out and that was just impossible for a girl like me. What I realised is that I would have stayed in a spot where I was not happy, not sad, just in the numb zone if I had not made a decision with my emotions as my partner. They tipped the scale so I would, so I could make a decision.

 

There is a difference between including your emotions, even heightened emotions and making a decision with charged emotion. Charged emotion being that is the only aspect you are basing your decision on.

 

I am saying, use your emotions when you are making a decision, allow them. How does this shirt make me feel vs this shirt and buy the one that makes you feel the way you want to. The shirt that allows you to feel the emotion you want to feel.

 

Emotions are our friend’s ladies.  It is time we start partnering with them, all of them, the ones we consider negative and positive.

 

There are 3 keys to success, MINDSET, SELF IMAGE AND COURAGE.

 

Women on average lack self-image, why, because self-image gowns with action, you only take action when you make a decision.  You only make decisions a fun process when you allow all of you to show up, emotions and all.

 

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Financial, fired, Job, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives

The Silver Lining – A Shift In Perspective

How is this for perspective…

I went into work on Friday Oct 24, 2014 to be called into by boss’s office and told that my job is being restructured. What?  I asked.  He said that he needed someone to do the work I was doing more than 3 days a week and therefore he was giving the work I do to another girl in the office.  What is left for me I wondered? Am I being fired or slowly eliminated?  There were so many things that crossed my mind in those couple hours, things such as:

  • Why would he have not asked me to work 5 days a week, just in the mornings
  • Why not have a conversation with the person (me) doing the work if you are looking for better practices
  • Why not have the other girl do the job only when I am not there

Things were not adding up, there was more to the story. After I was told the heart stopping news I thought about it for about an hour as tears filled my eyes and then left again and then filled and left.  Could it really be that I was being eliminated with no notice, no reason.   After that hour I walked back into my boss’s office and asked for some clarification. It turns out I had made a few mistakes, which of course no one told me about or gave me an opportunity to correct. Everyone makes mistakes and that was not a hug issue he said. But he truthfully wanted to change his process for my job.  I just find that so odd that someone that does not do your job knows what is best and they have no desire to include you with the planning of the restructure.  Of course it is his company and he does not “have” to, just something that I would ensure I did for people that I wanted to keep, even the ones I did not.  I asked if I was being fired or eliminated and he said no.

Why would this be the case, now I have a job but no work…interesting…. A few reasons popped up. Dismissal with no just cause could end up in a law suite and it would much cheaper to have me leave on my own after being humiliated. There would be no one to train the other girl my entire job , and or or maybe he really did like having me there and wanted me to stay.

A few years before he had 2 girls in the office and one lady got sick, leaving one girl. He was in a bad situation and then that girl got sick, probably from being over worked. She did not even receive a thank you for taking care of the office for that period.  (That is another story) I do not believe he wants to be in that situation again.

As my boss was speaking he said his reasoning’s were the above along with the fear of me leaving. You see I have other interests. My dream it to become one of the top 10 public speakers in Canada, earning over 25,000 a speech.  Big Dream I know, but if you know how to get to your dream, it is just a worthy goal.  I am a Dream Builder Coach as well as an Energy Healer.  Having this 3 day a week job was a security blanket and now it is fading, being torn up.  When I think of it, it is like a baby’s blanket that they sleep with every night and now they are 5 and there is almost nothing left of the blanket or the security it held.

All day long I had waves of sadness, and grief fall over me and my eyes would tear and I would cry. That was my work and now it was taken from me.  Most of the office new this before I did of course, days before so they were all quiet and did not know what to say, which in turn made it worse because it made it feel like I was being let go.  If it was really not that bad and I still had a job then why did everyone look at me with those eyes of so sorry, we don’t know what to say.  In those moments I stated to understand why people get so protective of their work and their jobs as you can be eliminated at any moment t with no warning or anything.  There was one co-worker not there that day and when I emailed them about the situation they did not even reply.  So now I have lost my work and my friends.  GREAT!

Let’s pause here for a moment.

You read I am a Dream Builder correct. In June 2014 I had put it in my calendar that I would be done working for this company. It was time to take my business to the next level. Of course I wanted the clients and money to be there before I left and well that did not happen so I stayed. In fact looking back I got really discouraged with my other businesses and was scared that staying at the job 3 days I week I would fall into the safety and security of it and be a lifer.

Sometimes I wish I did not have aspirations and dreams and a strong desire to follow them. Wouldn’t life be that much simpler, just waking up every morning going to work and coming home and doing the same things over and over and over and over again for the same money your entire life? The truth is doing this work (my coaching and healing) my thoughts have changed and I am not like all the other people.  I have a Dream and I know what it is and if I did not entertain it I would never be happy. I did not leave my job in June, instead I put forth a new date of November 24, 2014.

In that time I went to a Dream Builder Live conference and more doors started to open and I became more and more clear on what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go.

See I put out to life I was ready for a change. I am scared of the change and maybe would have never actually took the leap. My boss could be the worst guy ever or he could be an angel  helping me to move my life where I want it to be. I get to choose how I see him and this entire situation.

To look at it without attachment it is wonderful. I have no responsibly, I can still go there and do the left over work that no one else wants to, take time off whenever I want, go down to 2 days a week when I want and leave when I want. The situation could not be more perfect.

Now it is my turn to get out here and create my dreams, create clients, create speaking engagements, create that change.   It is all so fresh and I am still upset about it not being done my way, but the truth is sometimes life just has other plans.  It is not about if it happens it happens any longer. It is about it happening.  When one door closes another opens.

I will go back to work on Monday and do my best to smile and see things for how I know them to be, see the bigger brighter picture of it all.

Work can be an interesting thing. I write this to share with you, you are not alone and although sometimes it just flat our sucks there is a silver lining and it is your choice if you see it or not.  When something goes crappy wait 3 days and if you cannot see any good in it then allow yourself to get upset, but wait your 3 days.  It very well could just be another door opening to a greener pasture.  Get honest with yourself. What would you love and could this closed door in any way lead you to an open door of your Dreams. You have to do the work, take the action, but what I know for sure is that Life will show up and meet you.  Keep walking.  There is a country song with lyrics saying, “if you are going through hell, keep on going before the devil even knows you are there”   When things happen that you feel are not great pause for a few days and think of possible solutions.  Do not dwell on your problems.  Keep moving your thoughts to a solution so you do not get stuck with the “devil” in the land of sorrow and pain.  Keep you eye on the vision.

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