Career, Change, Job, Uncategorized

Why do people Quit?

The number one reason people quit is because “it” has not happened yet. In today’s world of immediate gratification, many of us forget the skill and the benefit of hard work, sticking it out and resilience.
That being said that same mindset can keep us stuck in unhappiness and contraction. It would be beneficial for us to embrace the concept of quitting as well. (Some of you reading would benefit by embracing the concept of sticking with it, while others of you will benefit from the concept of letting go. This blog is for the people needing some help letting go.)
As humans we are continually seeking fuller, expanded expression. To fulfill that longing we have to be able to let go of the old, embrace the present to make way for the future. Each thing we do is a stepping stone to where life wants us to be, to do the best work we can do. If your dream is to be a public speaker, life may have to take you on a few different paths to help you gain skills and raise your confidence. It may not look like the path to becoming a speaker at the time, however upon reflection you know you were on the perfect path to prepare you to share you gifts with the world. Please do not be afraid to do something new. Do not be scared of shifting your focus. If it is calling you, move towards it. Try something that makes your energy, your heart expand. I remember when my husband got laid off from a job he was with for 10 plus years. After that it took 4 years and various companies for him to find his current company. A company that fits him perfectly. The people, the management, the work, the timing, the pay. He had to be able to start at other companies, and leave them for him to end up in that “perfect” place. Trust yourself, try something new. Ensure you give it the time it needs for your expansion. There is a difference between quitting because it is not happening yet, and moving in the direction that expands you.

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Financial, Job, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships, Uncategorized

The Perfect Girl

 

 

Is Perfection the only thing that makes you credible?

What makes a woman credible?

 

According to the Oxford Dictionary Credible chiefly means “able to be believed; convincing. What does a women need to do, be or have before she is considered credible?

 

It is understood by many to, “Never put something out to the world if it is less than perfect. Never say something if it is not perfect. Never do something that is not perfect; because when you do that, it makes you not credible, and no one believes you or takes you seriously.”

 

IS THAT A TRUE STATEMENT?

 

 

That statement made me apple throwing mad! Looking at the entire statement from an expanded perspective, it says, “We are not enough. We must be perfect for people to take us seriously. To be someone that people believe in and admire, we must be perfect”.

 

A woman who has tattoos all over her body and sun-bleached skin… what kind of woman do you believe her to be? A woman with kids running around the store is what type of mother? There must be a loving place in our society where our unique differences can be accepted, appreciated and encouraged.

 

Does the woman who has a clean house, a booming career, who takes her kids to school every morning and picks them up at the end of the day, who volunteers on Parent Council, who always has a clean car inside and out, who has her hair always perfectly in place, who always has her make–up on, and all her clothes are brand name seem credible to you? What do you think of that woman?

 

You think she has it all together. You believe what she says and does because it looks like she has the perfect life, and you want the perfect life, so you admire her because she convinces you that she has it all figured out.

 

The problem is we only see what she is letting us see; we only see the mask of her perfection. But what would happen if she showed the world her true self? What if she showed the tears she cried, her insecurities, and feelings of being a complete failure? What if she showed you that she hates how big her hips are, although she is a size 6? Is she still credible? Do you still believe she has it all together, even though she is no longer perfect? Do you still want to be like that woman, or take advice from her?

 

As the other woman, do you still believe she has it all together or do you now judge her? Do you chit-chat with your friends about how the perfect woman cried, or how she was late one day picking up her kids, or she showed up with no make-up on?

 

Do you outcast her so you do not bring attention to your own inner demons, which you are so desperately trying to hide, so that others will find you perfect and believe in you?

 

What then happens when you cannot hide your own inner demons anymore and the world finds out that you are not perfect at all? In fact your perfection was an illusion. Now that the world can see you, the true real you, are you credible, or are you one of those women who “just do not have their shit together”?

 

If we as women look like we cannot handle all the balls we are throwing up in the air at one time, we are not credible. When we are not perfect, we are not credible. When we cannot do everything perfectly, then no one takes us seriously.

 

What would it look like when we can look at the people in our lives and say “Hey, you know what…. you don’t have it all together, but you are figuring it out. You are letting yourself be seen through the brilliance of being vulnerable”.

 

We often try so desperately to hide any form of vulnerability, in the belief it is associated with weakness. However, what if it is not a weakness, but strength? What if vulnerability is the place of connection, love, joy, understanding and acceptance? What if it’s a place you can talk about your imperfections openly, and not feel alone in this “big ol’ world”.

 

What would it mean for women today when being credible and believable is being seen for who and what we truly are, and accepting ourselves and each other for our courage in doing just that. What would it look like when each one of us took responsibility today for the loving outcome of tomorrow.

 

That is the kind of “Today” I would like to be part of!

 

 

 

 

 

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Financial, Job, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships

Feeling Bad = More Bad

Have you ever wondered if you maybe addicted to the feeling flirting gives you?

 

Have you ever really enjoyed the feeling you get when you flirt.  So much so that it makes you want to do it again and again. You feel alive and free, like you are being truly seen for the sweet, sexy rock start that lives deep within, the one that is not acceptable to come out to play often, if ever.

 

So now you are flirting, you are having fun, but a guilt feeling starts to arise within you.  Is this wrong, would my spouse be made and the question of maybe I should stop occurs to you.

 

So you stop, but the longer you stop the more you think about how incredible the flirting made you feel and the more think about that the more guilt arises up, up, up.

 

Here is my question….do we continue to flirt because we love the feeling or because in some way it covers up the guilt we felt in the first place. I mean if we flirt a little more, the thing we did before is not so bad. Now we just have to cover up this flirting guilt, so we do it again and flirt even bigger and so on and so on. You get the picture….yes?

 

What would it look like if when we did something that we felt bad for or guilty for we allowed ourselves to forgive and move forward with no residual guilt. Would we continue to do things we feel are wrong to cover up the feelings of the last thing we did that we feel is wrong or would we be able to let go and grow.

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Job

Positive and Negative Energy

A fun experiment with Positive and Negative Energy

Do you know that the way you talk to others and to yourself can greatly affect your health.  My children and I did an experiment where we filled up two mason jars and put a tablespoon of rice in each one.  On one Mason Jar we drew a heart and placed it on paper that said, I love you, you are great, you are the best.  On the other Mason Jar we wrote on it the word HATE and placed it on paper that said, I hate you, your are wrong, you do nothing right. 

After a short period of time we were amazed at what we found.  The rice in the Mason jar with the word hate on it, had crumbled into a powder looking substance that lay on the bottom of the jar.

 The rice in the love water, stayed whole. 

We found that amazing!

 With hate, worry, fear and negativity we crumble and are unrecognizable.

 With love and positive words, feelings and thoughts we stay whole, knowing the truth of who and what we are and stand strong for the world to appreciate.

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Financial, fired, Job, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships

How do you know if you are Enough?

What does it look like when you wake up in the morning and you are enough?

 

“Come on Jonny, you can do it.  Keep going you could go pro if you tried harder, worked longer, wanted it bad enough.  You could be the BEST.”

Jonny played hockey when he was a young boy.  Although his parents thought skating 7 days a week and practice, practice, practice was the best thing for Jonny, he never improved much.   He made the team, but just barely.  This particular team would go out of town for tournaments and Jonny’s parents would send him with a team member’s family. His parents never attended the out of town games.  Low and behold, when Jonny was out of town he played like a star.  Skated faster, got more goals and was an enthusiastic team member. Then he would come back home and be just an average player.

Hockey was never about young Jonny.  Hockey was about his parents.  It would not matter what he did, how he played, he would NEVER be ENOUGH for his family until he was THE BEST.

Jonny’s parents put him in other sports along the way, always wanting him to be THE BEST, not to do his best, but be THE BEST.  Anything less was just not good enough.

Eventually little Jonny just stopped trying. Unless he was going to be the best, there was no point doing anything.  He was now completely conditioned that he would never be enough.”

 

While I was on my way to Florida this February, I sat down beside a man that is in the grocery business.  In a matter of 10 minutes I knew he was a lovely man, a kind man and an ambitious man.   We entertained each other with a long 3 hour delightful conversation.  At one point we were talking about motivation and what it means to always be reaching and stretching for bigger and better.  With a renewed hunger for success I started to think about that concept and although I understand it as many of us do, I think it sucks!

I know the feeling waking up every morning yearning, searching, trying to be more so I can have more.  It is always, more, more, more, a longing, a sense of deprivation.  The implication that comes with more, more, more is that you are not enough now. Many of us have this idea that once we have accomplished our goals, aspirations, then we will be enough. But until that day we are far from enough.

 

Ask yourself this question – What would it look like if every day you woke up and first thing you did is recognize you are enough.  DONE!  END OF STORY!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Depletion
Enough
ROCK STAR!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Most of us wake up in the morning and begin our day in the state of depletion.  One the one side there is deprivation and depletion, you are not enough.  When you are here, things are never good, there is always something that you have to be doing or thinking before you are enough.

In the middle you are enough, this is the place of peace when you wake up.

On the other side you have achieved your goals and dreams….your MORE.

Being enough is in the middle, you have to get to that point in order to have what you desire.  You will not only have it, but you will feel complete while achieving it.  You will not be running from a place of less, a place of not enough.

You cannot go from a place of depletion straight to achievement.  You have to pass through the middle, so why not start in the middle.  This way you do not have to catch up or bail yourself out of a deep whole before heading toward your dreams and aspirations.

Anything you achieve beyond the neutral state of I am enough is a bonus, but it does not define you, it cannot define you because you are enough.   You are still stretching and reaching for a higher place, we all are because life is seeking a fuller, freer, expanded expression through each one of us.  That expression can never be fully met until we recognize that we are enough today, this very minute.

What could you accomplish if you woke up tomorrow morning and you were enough, just the way you are.  What could you do from a place of enough, vs a place of depletion?

You are enough right now.  Move forward at an expedited rate with a passion, zest and confidence.

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Change, Children, Job, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships

Do you ever wonder if you are significant?

 

 

The other day I was being interviewed for an article the paper was writing about my father and his building company, Valleyrausshomes.com.  As the interviewer and I were introducing ourselves and having small chat, something remarkable was discovered.

In 2005 I worked for that paper in the advertising department. It was a contract and near the end, my former employer called me back for another contract with them.  Everyone there was very kind, bought me a nice gift and wrote kind words on a card about how I would be missed.  I have to admit, I took that at surface value. I did not think I really made a difference there or would be missed. It was just another stop on my road and no one would remember once I was gone.

Now is it 2015, 10 years later and as I am having this conversation with the man from the paper, he does not only remember me, but I was in his department. He was my bosses, bosses boss.  I had no recollection of him at first.  After we started to speak, I vaguely remembered him and his office he use to sit in. I do recall always being a bit afraid of the big boss man in the office though.

As we stood across from one another he continued to tell me that he remembers me and remembers I am the girl they so desperately did not want to lose.  They tried to keep me, however budgets would not allow it.

I had no idea that what I did had such an impression that is trickled up the line so high. I had no idea that 10 years later that lasting impression would surface, nor did I know what that impression was.

There was a time I may have questioned my significance, as I am sure so many of us do. But no more.

When you think you do not matter, or no one cares, you are not seen or heard, remember this blog post.

Remember you are SIGNIFICANT.

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Financial, Job, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships

Do Women Put To Much Emotion Into Their Decisions?

Do Women Put To Much Emotion Into Their Decisions?

 

 

Hell NO!!!!!

 

How many times have you been told, or told someone take the emotion out of it.  Do not make a decision when you are emotional.   I am not sure how this works for men as they typically do not show as many emotions, however I do know that women do not need to take their emotions out when making a decision.  In fact, I plead with the women reading this that they do not take out or separate themselves from their emotions.

 

First of all let’s look at the word emotional.  What do you think of when you hear that word?   Sad, Worry, Fear.  We have been conditioned that when we hear the word emotional it has a negative association with it, what about the emotions of love, excitement, happiness?

 

Should we not make decisions when those emotions are involved.  Are we to not make a decision in life, unless we are sure about it and can look at it with no emotion?  In girl world that is a crazy concept.

 

Women’s emotional centres in our brains are larger.  We say yes to marriage because we feel we are in love.

 

In the past I have not been the best at making decisions. In fact I hated the entire process.  I would always ask someone I was with to make the decision even if it is not what I wanted to do; I would go along with it.

 

When I had made my decision to leave my job one of my male coworkers said that they were concerned because I they felt I was making my decision based on emotions and once I relaxed a bit I would wish I had made a different choice.

 

I use to hate making decisions because I thought I was supposed to take the emotion out and that was just impossible for a girl like me. What I realised is that I would have stayed in a spot where I was not happy, not sad, just in the numb zone if I had not made a decision with my emotions as my partner. They tipped the scale so I would, so I could make a decision.

 

There is a difference between including your emotions, even heightened emotions and making a decision with charged emotion. Charged emotion being that is the only aspect you are basing your decision on.

 

I am saying, use your emotions when you are making a decision, allow them. How does this shirt make me feel vs this shirt and buy the one that makes you feel the way you want to. The shirt that allows you to feel the emotion you want to feel.

 

Emotions are our friend’s ladies.  It is time we start partnering with them, all of them, the ones we consider negative and positive.

 

There are 3 keys to success, MINDSET, SELF IMAGE AND COURAGE.

 

Women on average lack self-image, why, because self-image gowns with action, you only take action when you make a decision.  You only make decisions a fun process when you allow all of you to show up, emotions and all.

 

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