Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Financial, Personal Development, Perspectives, Uncategorized

A New Operating System

We all know to change our results, we have to change our thinking. We have to change the patterns that are going on in our mind and allow our actions to reflect that change.
Implementing a new operating system for your mind can take time and it can feel uncomfortable. So much so, that it becomes easy and tempting to go back to the old system. Even though the old system is not what you want running your life, because you did not like the results from that system. It sometimes feels more comfortable then the transition to the new one.
My old system was programmed to tell me to be busy all the time and that would equal the success I wanted. I find out that system must have had a bug in it, because it was the farthest thing from the truth. I missed time with my kids, with my husband, I was not bringing in the number of clients I wanted to or the finances. I was busy, busy all day long, but I am not sure what I got done. I knew I needed a new operating system. I have been at work building this system through personal development for many years, and just a few weeks ago I launched it. Man oh man, was it tough. I wanted to disconnect it and throw it away. My mind was used to being so busy and running every scenario every which way all day long. Now, my mind is still. It freaked me out a little bit. When I say still, I mean 100% improvement from before, but I still have work to do.
I called one of my beloved partners in believing and I said, I am losing my mind, there is nothing in there and it feels uncomfortable. HELP! We chatted. You see most of the time as women we just need someone to hold the space for us to figure our own stuff out. I have manifested the best partners in believing in the world.
The longer the new system was running, the more and more comfortable with it I have become.
Change takes time. It does not always feel good. It is like a mud bath, icky while you are in it, but you come out glowing. If you want something different, you have to do something different. You cannot solve a problem with the same level of mind that created that problem. Go ahead, get comfortable being uncomfortable. Close the door behind you and start thinking your way to the success you desire with your new system. Your system may break down from time to time, but that is why you have surrounded yourself with amazing partners, so they can hold a space for you to fix your loose wire and carry on.

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Financial, Job, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships, Uncategorized

The Perfect Girl

 

 

Is Perfection the only thing that makes you credible?

What makes a woman credible?

 

According to the Oxford Dictionary Credible chiefly means “able to be believed; convincing. What does a women need to do, be or have before she is considered credible?

 

It is understood by many to, “Never put something out to the world if it is less than perfect. Never say something if it is not perfect. Never do something that is not perfect; because when you do that, it makes you not credible, and no one believes you or takes you seriously.”

 

IS THAT A TRUE STATEMENT?

 

 

That statement made me apple throwing mad! Looking at the entire statement from an expanded perspective, it says, “We are not enough. We must be perfect for people to take us seriously. To be someone that people believe in and admire, we must be perfect”.

 

A woman who has tattoos all over her body and sun-bleached skin… what kind of woman do you believe her to be? A woman with kids running around the store is what type of mother? There must be a loving place in our society where our unique differences can be accepted, appreciated and encouraged.

 

Does the woman who has a clean house, a booming career, who takes her kids to school every morning and picks them up at the end of the day, who volunteers on Parent Council, who always has a clean car inside and out, who has her hair always perfectly in place, who always has her make–up on, and all her clothes are brand name seem credible to you? What do you think of that woman?

 

You think she has it all together. You believe what she says and does because it looks like she has the perfect life, and you want the perfect life, so you admire her because she convinces you that she has it all figured out.

 

The problem is we only see what she is letting us see; we only see the mask of her perfection. But what would happen if she showed the world her true self? What if she showed the tears she cried, her insecurities, and feelings of being a complete failure? What if she showed you that she hates how big her hips are, although she is a size 6? Is she still credible? Do you still believe she has it all together, even though she is no longer perfect? Do you still want to be like that woman, or take advice from her?

 

As the other woman, do you still believe she has it all together or do you now judge her? Do you chit-chat with your friends about how the perfect woman cried, or how she was late one day picking up her kids, or she showed up with no make-up on?

 

Do you outcast her so you do not bring attention to your own inner demons, which you are so desperately trying to hide, so that others will find you perfect and believe in you?

 

What then happens when you cannot hide your own inner demons anymore and the world finds out that you are not perfect at all? In fact your perfection was an illusion. Now that the world can see you, the true real you, are you credible, or are you one of those women who “just do not have their shit together”?

 

If we as women look like we cannot handle all the balls we are throwing up in the air at one time, we are not credible. When we are not perfect, we are not credible. When we cannot do everything perfectly, then no one takes us seriously.

 

What would it look like when we can look at the people in our lives and say “Hey, you know what…. you don’t have it all together, but you are figuring it out. You are letting yourself be seen through the brilliance of being vulnerable”.

 

We often try so desperately to hide any form of vulnerability, in the belief it is associated with weakness. However, what if it is not a weakness, but strength? What if vulnerability is the place of connection, love, joy, understanding and acceptance? What if it’s a place you can talk about your imperfections openly, and not feel alone in this “big ol’ world”.

 

What would it mean for women today when being credible and believable is being seen for who and what we truly are, and accepting ourselves and each other for our courage in doing just that. What would it look like when each one of us took responsibility today for the loving outcome of tomorrow.

 

That is the kind of “Today” I would like to be part of!

 

 

 

 

 

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Financial, Job, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships

Feeling Bad = More Bad

Have you ever wondered if you maybe addicted to the feeling flirting gives you?

 

Have you ever really enjoyed the feeling you get when you flirt.  So much so that it makes you want to do it again and again. You feel alive and free, like you are being truly seen for the sweet, sexy rock start that lives deep within, the one that is not acceptable to come out to play often, if ever.

 

So now you are flirting, you are having fun, but a guilt feeling starts to arise within you.  Is this wrong, would my spouse be made and the question of maybe I should stop occurs to you.

 

So you stop, but the longer you stop the more you think about how incredible the flirting made you feel and the more think about that the more guilt arises up, up, up.

 

Here is my question….do we continue to flirt because we love the feeling or because in some way it covers up the guilt we felt in the first place. I mean if we flirt a little more, the thing we did before is not so bad. Now we just have to cover up this flirting guilt, so we do it again and flirt even bigger and so on and so on. You get the picture….yes?

 

What would it look like if when we did something that we felt bad for or guilty for we allowed ourselves to forgive and move forward with no residual guilt. Would we continue to do things we feel are wrong to cover up the feelings of the last thing we did that we feel is wrong or would we be able to let go and grow.

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Financial, fired, Job, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships

How do you know if you are Enough?

What does it look like when you wake up in the morning and you are enough?

 

“Come on Jonny, you can do it.  Keep going you could go pro if you tried harder, worked longer, wanted it bad enough.  You could be the BEST.”

Jonny played hockey when he was a young boy.  Although his parents thought skating 7 days a week and practice, practice, practice was the best thing for Jonny, he never improved much.   He made the team, but just barely.  This particular team would go out of town for tournaments and Jonny’s parents would send him with a team member’s family. His parents never attended the out of town games.  Low and behold, when Jonny was out of town he played like a star.  Skated faster, got more goals and was an enthusiastic team member. Then he would come back home and be just an average player.

Hockey was never about young Jonny.  Hockey was about his parents.  It would not matter what he did, how he played, he would NEVER be ENOUGH for his family until he was THE BEST.

Jonny’s parents put him in other sports along the way, always wanting him to be THE BEST, not to do his best, but be THE BEST.  Anything less was just not good enough.

Eventually little Jonny just stopped trying. Unless he was going to be the best, there was no point doing anything.  He was now completely conditioned that he would never be enough.”

 

While I was on my way to Florida this February, I sat down beside a man that is in the grocery business.  In a matter of 10 minutes I knew he was a lovely man, a kind man and an ambitious man.   We entertained each other with a long 3 hour delightful conversation.  At one point we were talking about motivation and what it means to always be reaching and stretching for bigger and better.  With a renewed hunger for success I started to think about that concept and although I understand it as many of us do, I think it sucks!

I know the feeling waking up every morning yearning, searching, trying to be more so I can have more.  It is always, more, more, more, a longing, a sense of deprivation.  The implication that comes with more, more, more is that you are not enough now. Many of us have this idea that once we have accomplished our goals, aspirations, then we will be enough. But until that day we are far from enough.

 

Ask yourself this question – What would it look like if every day you woke up and first thing you did is recognize you are enough.  DONE!  END OF STORY!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Depletion
Enough
ROCK STAR!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Most of us wake up in the morning and begin our day in the state of depletion.  One the one side there is deprivation and depletion, you are not enough.  When you are here, things are never good, there is always something that you have to be doing or thinking before you are enough.

In the middle you are enough, this is the place of peace when you wake up.

On the other side you have achieved your goals and dreams….your MORE.

Being enough is in the middle, you have to get to that point in order to have what you desire.  You will not only have it, but you will feel complete while achieving it.  You will not be running from a place of less, a place of not enough.

You cannot go from a place of depletion straight to achievement.  You have to pass through the middle, so why not start in the middle.  This way you do not have to catch up or bail yourself out of a deep whole before heading toward your dreams and aspirations.

Anything you achieve beyond the neutral state of I am enough is a bonus, but it does not define you, it cannot define you because you are enough.   You are still stretching and reaching for a higher place, we all are because life is seeking a fuller, freer, expanded expression through each one of us.  That expression can never be fully met until we recognize that we are enough today, this very minute.

What could you accomplish if you woke up tomorrow morning and you were enough, just the way you are.  What could you do from a place of enough, vs a place of depletion?

You are enough right now.  Move forward at an expedited rate with a passion, zest and confidence.

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Financial, Job, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships

Do Women Put To Much Emotion Into Their Decisions?

Do Women Put To Much Emotion Into Their Decisions?

 

 

Hell NO!!!!!

 

How many times have you been told, or told someone take the emotion out of it.  Do not make a decision when you are emotional.   I am not sure how this works for men as they typically do not show as many emotions, however I do know that women do not need to take their emotions out when making a decision.  In fact, I plead with the women reading this that they do not take out or separate themselves from their emotions.

 

First of all let’s look at the word emotional.  What do you think of when you hear that word?   Sad, Worry, Fear.  We have been conditioned that when we hear the word emotional it has a negative association with it, what about the emotions of love, excitement, happiness?

 

Should we not make decisions when those emotions are involved.  Are we to not make a decision in life, unless we are sure about it and can look at it with no emotion?  In girl world that is a crazy concept.

 

Women’s emotional centres in our brains are larger.  We say yes to marriage because we feel we are in love.

 

In the past I have not been the best at making decisions. In fact I hated the entire process.  I would always ask someone I was with to make the decision even if it is not what I wanted to do; I would go along with it.

 

When I had made my decision to leave my job one of my male coworkers said that they were concerned because I they felt I was making my decision based on emotions and once I relaxed a bit I would wish I had made a different choice.

 

I use to hate making decisions because I thought I was supposed to take the emotion out and that was just impossible for a girl like me. What I realised is that I would have stayed in a spot where I was not happy, not sad, just in the numb zone if I had not made a decision with my emotions as my partner. They tipped the scale so I would, so I could make a decision.

 

There is a difference between including your emotions, even heightened emotions and making a decision with charged emotion. Charged emotion being that is the only aspect you are basing your decision on.

 

I am saying, use your emotions when you are making a decision, allow them. How does this shirt make me feel vs this shirt and buy the one that makes you feel the way you want to. The shirt that allows you to feel the emotion you want to feel.

 

Emotions are our friend’s ladies.  It is time we start partnering with them, all of them, the ones we consider negative and positive.

 

There are 3 keys to success, MINDSET, SELF IMAGE AND COURAGE.

 

Women on average lack self-image, why, because self-image gowns with action, you only take action when you make a decision.  You only make decisions a fun process when you allow all of you to show up, emotions and all.

 

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Financial, Job

Self Image Telephone Course – “You Can Never Our Perform Your Current Self Image”

NEW YEARS IS COMING!!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR 2015?

Self Image – The Second Most Import Ingredient to Life Success

“You can never outperform your current self image”

The other day a dear friend of mine posted a thread on facebook about what she thought of herself. She was vulnerable in her sharing and that lead the others in the thread to share their self image thoughts with the group.  Now I am not talking about what we think of ourselves on those great, upbeat, high energy days, I am talking about what we think and feel of ourselves on the days that we feel hopeless and sad.  Those days are going to happen, they do for everyone.   As women our emotional and intellectual selves are so interconnected, we can think of many things at one time, that leaves lots of room for negative or self defeating thoughts to easily creep into our conscious minds, becoming anchored there.

It is time for us to hold one another up as women and recognize our beauty that we have just because we are women. God made us feeling creatures for a reason. Sharon Lechter of the book Think and Grow Rich for Women writes, “we need to ask ourselves why we were given this gift and how we can utilize it better to serve the people we love and humanity at large.”

It was Gandhi who said, the western women will save the world.  The truth is when women make more money they do more good in the world with it.  Although the pay grades are balancing out they are not 100% equal at the high levels just yet.

It is my believe that we as women have a gift to hold each other up high and see the best in each other, help raise our self image, self worth, self talk.

Some of the comments on the post were things like….I am sick of being so hard on myself, I am sick of playing small to make others feel better about themselves, I am sick of giving up because I don’t think I can do it, although I know I can. Those were just 3 examples, there were many more.  Have you ever said those things to yourself?  Be honest?

I had a chance to reflect the other weekend about my own self image and it was interesting for me to look at the last 7 months. I am doing and saying and being things that I had only dreamed of before. I am raising myself image daily. Some days it is easy and other days it is not. It is a process for all of us.

I have developed a 4 week course for women to increase your self image.  It is full of self reflecting, becoming aware of current sabotaging patterns, working in our feminine, how to be a wife, mother and a success.  I mentioned at the top that self image is the second most important ingredient when it comes to life success.  The first being mindset and the 3rd courage.  The course addresses your mindset, and deeply focuses on raising yourself image so that you too will be well on your way with tools and techniques to increase your self thoughts and feelings, to living the life you would love, to begin to be  the person you love to be.

This is a group course and done via the phone, running for approximately 60-90 minutes. It will go weekly for 4 weeks at a time.   There are two sessions starting soon, one day time one and one evening one.   The schedule is below.  If those times do not work for you let me know and I can arrange to run one for your group on a separate date and time with 5 people registered. When you enroll you will also receive a complimentary energy session with me.  Also, when you refer a friend and they sign up you will receive a 50.00 credit.  To sign up please email liveyourbestyou@gmail.com or call me at 519-465-2844.

 

Day Class

Wednesday November 19th 8:30am – 10:00am

Wednesday November 26th 8:30am – 10:00am

Wednesday December 3rd 8:30am – 10:00am

Wednesday December 10th 8:30am – 10 am

 

Evening Class

Thursday November 20th 8:00pm – 9:30pm

Thursday November 27th 8:00pm – 9:30pm

Thursday December 4th 8:00pm – 9:30pm

Thursday December 11th 8:00pm – 9:30pm

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Financial, fired, Job, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives

The Silver Lining – A Shift In Perspective

How is this for perspective…

I went into work on Friday Oct 24, 2014 to be called into by boss’s office and told that my job is being restructured. What?  I asked.  He said that he needed someone to do the work I was doing more than 3 days a week and therefore he was giving the work I do to another girl in the office.  What is left for me I wondered? Am I being fired or slowly eliminated?  There were so many things that crossed my mind in those couple hours, things such as:

  • Why would he have not asked me to work 5 days a week, just in the mornings
  • Why not have a conversation with the person (me) doing the work if you are looking for better practices
  • Why not have the other girl do the job only when I am not there

Things were not adding up, there was more to the story. After I was told the heart stopping news I thought about it for about an hour as tears filled my eyes and then left again and then filled and left.  Could it really be that I was being eliminated with no notice, no reason.   After that hour I walked back into my boss’s office and asked for some clarification. It turns out I had made a few mistakes, which of course no one told me about or gave me an opportunity to correct. Everyone makes mistakes and that was not a hug issue he said. But he truthfully wanted to change his process for my job.  I just find that so odd that someone that does not do your job knows what is best and they have no desire to include you with the planning of the restructure.  Of course it is his company and he does not “have” to, just something that I would ensure I did for people that I wanted to keep, even the ones I did not.  I asked if I was being fired or eliminated and he said no.

Why would this be the case, now I have a job but no work…interesting…. A few reasons popped up. Dismissal with no just cause could end up in a law suite and it would much cheaper to have me leave on my own after being humiliated. There would be no one to train the other girl my entire job , and or or maybe he really did like having me there and wanted me to stay.

A few years before he had 2 girls in the office and one lady got sick, leaving one girl. He was in a bad situation and then that girl got sick, probably from being over worked. She did not even receive a thank you for taking care of the office for that period.  (That is another story) I do not believe he wants to be in that situation again.

As my boss was speaking he said his reasoning’s were the above along with the fear of me leaving. You see I have other interests. My dream it to become one of the top 10 public speakers in Canada, earning over 25,000 a speech.  Big Dream I know, but if you know how to get to your dream, it is just a worthy goal.  I am a Dream Builder Coach as well as an Energy Healer.  Having this 3 day a week job was a security blanket and now it is fading, being torn up.  When I think of it, it is like a baby’s blanket that they sleep with every night and now they are 5 and there is almost nothing left of the blanket or the security it held.

All day long I had waves of sadness, and grief fall over me and my eyes would tear and I would cry. That was my work and now it was taken from me.  Most of the office new this before I did of course, days before so they were all quiet and did not know what to say, which in turn made it worse because it made it feel like I was being let go.  If it was really not that bad and I still had a job then why did everyone look at me with those eyes of so sorry, we don’t know what to say.  In those moments I stated to understand why people get so protective of their work and their jobs as you can be eliminated at any moment t with no warning or anything.  There was one co-worker not there that day and when I emailed them about the situation they did not even reply.  So now I have lost my work and my friends.  GREAT!

Let’s pause here for a moment.

You read I am a Dream Builder correct. In June 2014 I had put it in my calendar that I would be done working for this company. It was time to take my business to the next level. Of course I wanted the clients and money to be there before I left and well that did not happen so I stayed. In fact looking back I got really discouraged with my other businesses and was scared that staying at the job 3 days I week I would fall into the safety and security of it and be a lifer.

Sometimes I wish I did not have aspirations and dreams and a strong desire to follow them. Wouldn’t life be that much simpler, just waking up every morning going to work and coming home and doing the same things over and over and over and over again for the same money your entire life? The truth is doing this work (my coaching and healing) my thoughts have changed and I am not like all the other people.  I have a Dream and I know what it is and if I did not entertain it I would never be happy. I did not leave my job in June, instead I put forth a new date of November 24, 2014.

In that time I went to a Dream Builder Live conference and more doors started to open and I became more and more clear on what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go.

See I put out to life I was ready for a change. I am scared of the change and maybe would have never actually took the leap. My boss could be the worst guy ever or he could be an angel  helping me to move my life where I want it to be. I get to choose how I see him and this entire situation.

To look at it without attachment it is wonderful. I have no responsibly, I can still go there and do the left over work that no one else wants to, take time off whenever I want, go down to 2 days a week when I want and leave when I want. The situation could not be more perfect.

Now it is my turn to get out here and create my dreams, create clients, create speaking engagements, create that change.   It is all so fresh and I am still upset about it not being done my way, but the truth is sometimes life just has other plans.  It is not about if it happens it happens any longer. It is about it happening.  When one door closes another opens.

I will go back to work on Monday and do my best to smile and see things for how I know them to be, see the bigger brighter picture of it all.

Work can be an interesting thing. I write this to share with you, you are not alone and although sometimes it just flat our sucks there is a silver lining and it is your choice if you see it or not.  When something goes crappy wait 3 days and if you cannot see any good in it then allow yourself to get upset, but wait your 3 days.  It very well could just be another door opening to a greener pasture.  Get honest with yourself. What would you love and could this closed door in any way lead you to an open door of your Dreams. You have to do the work, take the action, but what I know for sure is that Life will show up and meet you.  Keep walking.  There is a country song with lyrics saying, “if you are going through hell, keep on going before the devil even knows you are there”   When things happen that you feel are not great pause for a few days and think of possible solutions.  Do not dwell on your problems.  Keep moving your thoughts to a solution so you do not get stuck with the “devil” in the land of sorrow and pain.  Keep you eye on the vision.

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