Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Personal Development, Perspectives, Uncategorized

You are too sensitive.

You are sensitive, that is what he said. Yes I am sure that is true, in fact I know it is true.
Why would some people be more sensitive than others? Could it be because those people have seen more, experienced more, felt more and connected to more?
Could it be because those people have a deep connection to the outcomes, immediate and long term of words, feelings and actions from our history and today?
Being sensitive means being connected, being in touch. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive.
If anyone has ever said that to you in a negative way, please remember this: Being sensitive, helps you be a kind human. When someone says or does something that hurts you or makes you angry, do not hold the other person who has brought forth your sensitivity hostage. You will want to free them so you can heal and you can connect and use the learning to help others.
We are shown how we can be of the greatest use to this world, by being shown what we are sensitive about.
Go on, be sensitive, I dare you.

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Career, Change, Children, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships, Uncategorized

BUSTING THROUGH BULLYING

Bullying is not a new behavior. It is as old as time and it does not seem to matter where you are, if you look round you can see some type of bullying. Whether that be on the school yard, in a family, or at work. The dictionary describes bullying as: use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants. I describe it as a person whose heart is hurt. Here are 5 ways you can help yourself and others, regardless of age, handle bullies.
You must first understand your energy. Everything is energy and there is something in your energy that you are giving off that allows you to be a target for being mistreated. The best news about this is, that you can change that. I will share with you some ways how to do that.

1 Confidence has a big part to play here. Chances are you have felt that for some reason you are not enough. Because you do not fit into the norm, you feel like you don’t belong anywhere. Write a list of all the things that make you “different” then beside that write down the best parts about each of those things.

2 Love and forgiveness are essential when dealing with a bully. Not just for yourself, but for the other person. The bully is bullying you to take the pressure and attention off of them. The problem is when we are scared or even hate them, it lowers our vibration and weakens our energy. People are either calling for love or giving love. The problem is so many are unskilled at their calling for love. Try sending a mental prayer to the bully. When we hold hate, we have to be on guard of it. It takes our time, our attention and our energy. This simple intention will shift your energy and confidence. Even the bully has a story and although it is not right what they are doing, by sending love it shifts both of your energy. Remember, you may be the first person that has shown them compassion.
Example: I do not like the way you behave and it is not right. Your heart must be broken. I wish for healing for you. (said in your mind)

3 No one can make you feel any way in which you do not give them permission to make you feel. It is as if you have a crystal within your heart and when someone is mean to you and you feel sad because of it, it is only because you have allowed that other person to have power over you. You have allowed them to have your crystal. Mentally take your crystal back, knowing that no one can get to you when your crystal is home in your heart.

4 – 1-2-3 Rule – Follow this basic guideline.
Step 1, ask the person to stop
Step 2, tell an adult, if you are an adult, share what is happening with another person. Shame and blame love secrets and they grow in environments of silence. Share what is going on, with a trusted friend, family member or a counselor.
Step 3 – Stand up for yourself. We know physical violence is not the answer, however there are other ways to stand up to someone.

5 – Remember this is happening for a higher purpose. Help someone else. You know how it feels to be bullied. When you see someone else who is sad, angry, upset, lend a hand, an ear, or a shoulder. What you have experienced is not wasted. You have been chosen to experience it so that you can help others.
You are stronger then you will ever know. You are smarter than most and your heart is big and beautiful. The world needs you to shine, so don’t let someone with a hurt heart dim your light. Rise above and become someone they can aspire to be. Remember, maybe they have not had the guidance to be bright and loving. Maybe they are being bullied. None of that makes it ok. Compassion is one of the best healers and confidence builder.

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Change, Children, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships, Uncategorized

How To Raise A Confident Daughter

A Confident Daughter!

As I watch young girls today, I remember how it felt to be going through the changes, the insecurities, and the feeling of being invisible. I do not recall the age I started to loose my confidence, looking back I just thought it was something I never had.
What can we do as mothers to help these beautiful souls through this transition time, the transition to unconditional self-love?
Here are 5 ways I have found very useful. I hope they are to you as well.

1 I have noticed that young girls talk, and they talk a lot, about nothing necessary in particular. They need to give you every single detail and play by play. Does your daughter ever come up to you while you are texting, or sending an email and just start to talk? They talk and talk and they know you are not 100% listening. I can only imagine what that is telling their little brains. (No one really wants to hear what I have to say. What I say is not important.) The list must go on and on. The problem is we as parents and them as children are not even aware of it.

When you are doing something and she comes up and starts talking, turn to her and say, “What you have to say is very important, you do not have my full attention right now. Can you please wait a moment and I will let you know when you do have my full attention. “Finish what you are doing and then sit down with her and ask her about the 5 most important parts of the story. That is if you don’t have time to hear the entire thing.

2 Provide as much one on one time with your young lady. It does not have to be an entire day, but if it is, enjoy as the things you can learn from her are amazing. Even if you just have 15 minutes a day to hang out, read and do something she enjoys. Just ensure she gets all of your attention during that time.

3 Most of the time, your daughters are going to turn into a little mini you. When they talk, or laugh, or wine, or do anything people may say.. oh you are just like your mom. In those minutes PLEASE own your awesomeness. There is nothing to be embarrassed about here. She is a beautiful, untainted reflection of your spirit. As you love her unconditionally, you must love yourself unconditionally.
4 It is important to separate our daughters from their actions. For example, never say to your child, you are bad. You would say, you are good, but you made a bad choice. Help your lovely daughter understand the difference between herself, who is always amazing and her choices and her actions. Confidence is bread in this step and is extremely important in the self-confidence of young girls.

5 Do not be afraid to sit in the dark with your little angel. When they have had a bad day and they feel no one likes them anymore sit with them. We are quick to say, but honey, you are amazing. Or something like, well that other person is not nice so just ignore them. That does not make our little girls feel better. It does nothing for them. Sitting in the dark with them means telling them about a time you have felt like they are feeling. Tell them how you felt. It is better that they understand sometimes life is not perfect and they will feel knocked down, but make sure they know they are not alone. They are not the first to feel this way or the last. As women we excel in community and understanding. Raise her confidence by sharing with her she is not alone.

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Change, Children, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Uncategorized

Helping our world with ADHD, Autism and Aspergers

I was just listening to one of my favorite physics, Elizabeth April this morning and a question was poised to her about what is it that we are being called to do with all the commotion going on around the world. She channeled and responded that we are being asked to expand.
So, what does that mean?
Expansion can mean different things to different people. Oxford dictionary describes expansion as:
The action of becoming larger or more extensive.
To me this means, that we must expand our thinking, our vibration, our actions, our hearts, ourselves and all of this has to come from inside of us, where our root of expansion exists. Expansion means doing and or being something that you have not yet. Many people are fearful of expansion because it means they have to let go of things that no longer serve them in order to make room for what does. As the world changes, are mindset has to as well. For years we have relied on others to make the world work for us. Now we are being called to expand, to speak, to share, to love.
I have a passion for kids. I have a very strong passion for kids that do not fit into the regular school system, the norms of society. Those children usually come with a label of ADHD, Aspergers, and or Autism. Sometimes they do not have one of those labels. These are children that vibrate much higher than people have in the past. Some call them star seeds.
These children help us expand.
How is it that these children are helping humanity expand?
These children are our greatest gifts. They require we shift the way things have always been done. They are challenging our school systems, our medical systems, their families, the way we parent, all of society. (Side note: Kids become who you tell them they are, so ensure you are telling them every day how wonderful, loved and important they are, just the way they are.) They may challenge you, they may embarrass you. You may not understand them. All of that being said, it is imperative that you understand they too have a purpose and job to do here. It is our job to bridge the past to the future so these children can do what is called upon them to do. Meaning, helping them survive in our world, but not take away from who they are. Those labeled children are our saviors.
They are here to up level the consciousness of humanity. When you do the same thing with the same level of thought that you have always done and expect a different result, there is no way you are going to get it.
We have to do something different to experience something different. We have been praying for help here on earth for a long time. These children are raising the vibration, they are the answers to our prayers.
My wish is that when you have the privilege to be around one of these children, any child actually, that you see through some of the behavior, to the earth angel that is there under those actions, under the running around, under the tantrum. Quietly, in your mind, thank them and smile.
We think as adults we are the teachers and although we have lots to teach, the children of today have more to teach us.

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Financial, Job, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships, Uncategorized

The Perfect Girl

 

 

Is Perfection the only thing that makes you credible?

What makes a woman credible?

 

According to the Oxford Dictionary Credible chiefly means “able to be believed; convincing. What does a women need to do, be or have before she is considered credible?

 

It is understood by many to, “Never put something out to the world if it is less than perfect. Never say something if it is not perfect. Never do something that is not perfect; because when you do that, it makes you not credible, and no one believes you or takes you seriously.”

 

IS THAT A TRUE STATEMENT?

 

 

That statement made me apple throwing mad! Looking at the entire statement from an expanded perspective, it says, “We are not enough. We must be perfect for people to take us seriously. To be someone that people believe in and admire, we must be perfect”.

 

A woman who has tattoos all over her body and sun-bleached skin… what kind of woman do you believe her to be? A woman with kids running around the store is what type of mother? There must be a loving place in our society where our unique differences can be accepted, appreciated and encouraged.

 

Does the woman who has a clean house, a booming career, who takes her kids to school every morning and picks them up at the end of the day, who volunteers on Parent Council, who always has a clean car inside and out, who has her hair always perfectly in place, who always has her make–up on, and all her clothes are brand name seem credible to you? What do you think of that woman?

 

You think she has it all together. You believe what she says and does because it looks like she has the perfect life, and you want the perfect life, so you admire her because she convinces you that she has it all figured out.

 

The problem is we only see what she is letting us see; we only see the mask of her perfection. But what would happen if she showed the world her true self? What if she showed the tears she cried, her insecurities, and feelings of being a complete failure? What if she showed you that she hates how big her hips are, although she is a size 6? Is she still credible? Do you still believe she has it all together, even though she is no longer perfect? Do you still want to be like that woman, or take advice from her?

 

As the other woman, do you still believe she has it all together or do you now judge her? Do you chit-chat with your friends about how the perfect woman cried, or how she was late one day picking up her kids, or she showed up with no make-up on?

 

Do you outcast her so you do not bring attention to your own inner demons, which you are so desperately trying to hide, so that others will find you perfect and believe in you?

 

What then happens when you cannot hide your own inner demons anymore and the world finds out that you are not perfect at all? In fact your perfection was an illusion. Now that the world can see you, the true real you, are you credible, or are you one of those women who “just do not have their shit together”?

 

If we as women look like we cannot handle all the balls we are throwing up in the air at one time, we are not credible. When we are not perfect, we are not credible. When we cannot do everything perfectly, then no one takes us seriously.

 

What would it look like when we can look at the people in our lives and say “Hey, you know what…. you don’t have it all together, but you are figuring it out. You are letting yourself be seen through the brilliance of being vulnerable”.

 

We often try so desperately to hide any form of vulnerability, in the belief it is associated with weakness. However, what if it is not a weakness, but strength? What if vulnerability is the place of connection, love, joy, understanding and acceptance? What if it’s a place you can talk about your imperfections openly, and not feel alone in this “big ol’ world”.

 

What would it mean for women today when being credible and believable is being seen for who and what we truly are, and accepting ourselves and each other for our courage in doing just that. What would it look like when each one of us took responsibility today for the loving outcome of tomorrow.

 

That is the kind of “Today” I would like to be part of!

 

 

 

 

 

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Financial, Job, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships

Feeling Bad = More Bad

Have you ever wondered if you maybe addicted to the feeling flirting gives you?

 

Have you ever really enjoyed the feeling you get when you flirt.  So much so that it makes you want to do it again and again. You feel alive and free, like you are being truly seen for the sweet, sexy rock start that lives deep within, the one that is not acceptable to come out to play often, if ever.

 

So now you are flirting, you are having fun, but a guilt feeling starts to arise within you.  Is this wrong, would my spouse be made and the question of maybe I should stop occurs to you.

 

So you stop, but the longer you stop the more you think about how incredible the flirting made you feel and the more think about that the more guilt arises up, up, up.

 

Here is my question….do we continue to flirt because we love the feeling or because in some way it covers up the guilt we felt in the first place. I mean if we flirt a little more, the thing we did before is not so bad. Now we just have to cover up this flirting guilt, so we do it again and flirt even bigger and so on and so on. You get the picture….yes?

 

What would it look like if when we did something that we felt bad for or guilty for we allowed ourselves to forgive and move forward with no residual guilt. Would we continue to do things we feel are wrong to cover up the feelings of the last thing we did that we feel is wrong or would we be able to let go and grow.

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Job

Positive and Negative Energy

A fun experiment with Positive and Negative Energy

Do you know that the way you talk to others and to yourself can greatly affect your health.  My children and I did an experiment where we filled up two mason jars and put a tablespoon of rice in each one.  On one Mason Jar we drew a heart and placed it on paper that said, I love you, you are great, you are the best.  On the other Mason Jar we wrote on it the word HATE and placed it on paper that said, I hate you, your are wrong, you do nothing right. 

After a short period of time we were amazed at what we found.  The rice in the Mason jar with the word hate on it, had crumbled into a powder looking substance that lay on the bottom of the jar.

 The rice in the love water, stayed whole. 

We found that amazing!

 With hate, worry, fear and negativity we crumble and are unrecognizable.

 With love and positive words, feelings and thoughts we stay whole, knowing the truth of who and what we are and stand strong for the world to appreciate.

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