Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Personal Development, Perspectives, Uncategorized

You are too sensitive.

You are sensitive, that is what he said. Yes I am sure that is true, in fact I know it is true.
Why would some people be more sensitive than others? Could it be because those people have seen more, experienced more, felt more and connected to more?
Could it be because those people have a deep connection to the outcomes, immediate and long term of words, feelings and actions from our history and today?
Being sensitive means being connected, being in touch. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive.
If anyone has ever said that to you in a negative way, please remember this: Being sensitive, helps you be a kind human. When someone says or does something that hurts you or makes you angry, do not hold the other person who has brought forth your sensitivity hostage. You will want to free them so you can heal and you can connect and use the learning to help others.
We are shown how we can be of the greatest use to this world, by being shown what we are sensitive about.
Go on, be sensitive, I dare you.

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Career, Change, Job, Uncategorized

Why do people Quit?

The number one reason people quit is because “it” has not happened yet. In today’s world of immediate gratification, many of us forget the skill and the benefit of hard work, sticking it out and resilience.
That being said that same mindset can keep us stuck in unhappiness and contraction. It would be beneficial for us to embrace the concept of quitting as well. (Some of you reading would benefit by embracing the concept of sticking with it, while others of you will benefit from the concept of letting go. This blog is for the people needing some help letting go.)
As humans we are continually seeking fuller, expanded expression. To fulfill that longing we have to be able to let go of the old, embrace the present to make way for the future. Each thing we do is a stepping stone to where life wants us to be, to do the best work we can do. If your dream is to be a public speaker, life may have to take you on a few different paths to help you gain skills and raise your confidence. It may not look like the path to becoming a speaker at the time, however upon reflection you know you were on the perfect path to prepare you to share you gifts with the world. Please do not be afraid to do something new. Do not be scared of shifting your focus. If it is calling you, move towards it. Try something that makes your energy, your heart expand. I remember when my husband got laid off from a job he was with for 10 plus years. After that it took 4 years and various companies for him to find his current company. A company that fits him perfectly. The people, the management, the work, the timing, the pay. He had to be able to start at other companies, and leave them for him to end up in that “perfect” place. Trust yourself, try something new. Ensure you give it the time it needs for your expansion. There is a difference between quitting because it is not happening yet, and moving in the direction that expands you.

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Career, Change, Children, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships, Uncategorized

BUSTING THROUGH BULLYING

Bullying is not a new behavior. It is as old as time and it does not seem to matter where you are, if you look round you can see some type of bullying. Whether that be on the school yard, in a family, or at work. The dictionary describes bullying as: use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants. I describe it as a person whose heart is hurt. Here are 5 ways you can help yourself and others, regardless of age, handle bullies.
You must first understand your energy. Everything is energy and there is something in your energy that you are giving off that allows you to be a target for being mistreated. The best news about this is, that you can change that. I will share with you some ways how to do that.

1 Confidence has a big part to play here. Chances are you have felt that for some reason you are not enough. Because you do not fit into the norm, you feel like you don’t belong anywhere. Write a list of all the things that make you “different” then beside that write down the best parts about each of those things.

2 Love and forgiveness are essential when dealing with a bully. Not just for yourself, but for the other person. The bully is bullying you to take the pressure and attention off of them. The problem is when we are scared or even hate them, it lowers our vibration and weakens our energy. People are either calling for love or giving love. The problem is so many are unskilled at their calling for love. Try sending a mental prayer to the bully. When we hold hate, we have to be on guard of it. It takes our time, our attention and our energy. This simple intention will shift your energy and confidence. Even the bully has a story and although it is not right what they are doing, by sending love it shifts both of your energy. Remember, you may be the first person that has shown them compassion.
Example: I do not like the way you behave and it is not right. Your heart must be broken. I wish for healing for you. (said in your mind)

3 No one can make you feel any way in which you do not give them permission to make you feel. It is as if you have a crystal within your heart and when someone is mean to you and you feel sad because of it, it is only because you have allowed that other person to have power over you. You have allowed them to have your crystal. Mentally take your crystal back, knowing that no one can get to you when your crystal is home in your heart.

4 – 1-2-3 Rule – Follow this basic guideline.
Step 1, ask the person to stop
Step 2, tell an adult, if you are an adult, share what is happening with another person. Shame and blame love secrets and they grow in environments of silence. Share what is going on, with a trusted friend, family member or a counselor.
Step 3 – Stand up for yourself. We know physical violence is not the answer, however there are other ways to stand up to someone.

5 – Remember this is happening for a higher purpose. Help someone else. You know how it feels to be bullied. When you see someone else who is sad, angry, upset, lend a hand, an ear, or a shoulder. What you have experienced is not wasted. You have been chosen to experience it so that you can help others.
You are stronger then you will ever know. You are smarter than most and your heart is big and beautiful. The world needs you to shine, so don’t let someone with a hurt heart dim your light. Rise above and become someone they can aspire to be. Remember, maybe they have not had the guidance to be bright and loving. Maybe they are being bullied. None of that makes it ok. Compassion is one of the best healers and confidence builder.

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Financial, Personal Development, Perspectives, Uncategorized

A New Operating System

We all know to change our results, we have to change our thinking. We have to change the patterns that are going on in our mind and allow our actions to reflect that change.
Implementing a new operating system for your mind can take time and it can feel uncomfortable. So much so, that it becomes easy and tempting to go back to the old system. Even though the old system is not what you want running your life, because you did not like the results from that system. It sometimes feels more comfortable then the transition to the new one.
My old system was programmed to tell me to be busy all the time and that would equal the success I wanted. I find out that system must have had a bug in it, because it was the farthest thing from the truth. I missed time with my kids, with my husband, I was not bringing in the number of clients I wanted to or the finances. I was busy, busy all day long, but I am not sure what I got done. I knew I needed a new operating system. I have been at work building this system through personal development for many years, and just a few weeks ago I launched it. Man oh man, was it tough. I wanted to disconnect it and throw it away. My mind was used to being so busy and running every scenario every which way all day long. Now, my mind is still. It freaked me out a little bit. When I say still, I mean 100% improvement from before, but I still have work to do.
I called one of my beloved partners in believing and I said, I am losing my mind, there is nothing in there and it feels uncomfortable. HELP! We chatted. You see most of the time as women we just need someone to hold the space for us to figure our own stuff out. I have manifested the best partners in believing in the world.
The longer the new system was running, the more and more comfortable with it I have become.
Change takes time. It does not always feel good. It is like a mud bath, icky while you are in it, but you come out glowing. If you want something different, you have to do something different. You cannot solve a problem with the same level of mind that created that problem. Go ahead, get comfortable being uncomfortable. Close the door behind you and start thinking your way to the success you desire with your new system. Your system may break down from time to time, but that is why you have surrounded yourself with amazing partners, so they can hold a space for you to fix your loose wire and carry on.

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Financial, Job, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships, Uncategorized

The Perfect Girl

 

 

Is Perfection the only thing that makes you credible?

What makes a woman credible?

 

According to the Oxford Dictionary Credible chiefly means “able to be believed; convincing. What does a women need to do, be or have before she is considered credible?

 

It is understood by many to, “Never put something out to the world if it is less than perfect. Never say something if it is not perfect. Never do something that is not perfect; because when you do that, it makes you not credible, and no one believes you or takes you seriously.”

 

IS THAT A TRUE STATEMENT?

 

 

That statement made me apple throwing mad! Looking at the entire statement from an expanded perspective, it says, “We are not enough. We must be perfect for people to take us seriously. To be someone that people believe in and admire, we must be perfect”.

 

A woman who has tattoos all over her body and sun-bleached skin… what kind of woman do you believe her to be? A woman with kids running around the store is what type of mother? There must be a loving place in our society where our unique differences can be accepted, appreciated and encouraged.

 

Does the woman who has a clean house, a booming career, who takes her kids to school every morning and picks them up at the end of the day, who volunteers on Parent Council, who always has a clean car inside and out, who has her hair always perfectly in place, who always has her make–up on, and all her clothes are brand name seem credible to you? What do you think of that woman?

 

You think she has it all together. You believe what she says and does because it looks like she has the perfect life, and you want the perfect life, so you admire her because she convinces you that she has it all figured out.

 

The problem is we only see what she is letting us see; we only see the mask of her perfection. But what would happen if she showed the world her true self? What if she showed the tears she cried, her insecurities, and feelings of being a complete failure? What if she showed you that she hates how big her hips are, although she is a size 6? Is she still credible? Do you still believe she has it all together, even though she is no longer perfect? Do you still want to be like that woman, or take advice from her?

 

As the other woman, do you still believe she has it all together or do you now judge her? Do you chit-chat with your friends about how the perfect woman cried, or how she was late one day picking up her kids, or she showed up with no make-up on?

 

Do you outcast her so you do not bring attention to your own inner demons, which you are so desperately trying to hide, so that others will find you perfect and believe in you?

 

What then happens when you cannot hide your own inner demons anymore and the world finds out that you are not perfect at all? In fact your perfection was an illusion. Now that the world can see you, the true real you, are you credible, or are you one of those women who “just do not have their shit together”?

 

If we as women look like we cannot handle all the balls we are throwing up in the air at one time, we are not credible. When we are not perfect, we are not credible. When we cannot do everything perfectly, then no one takes us seriously.

 

What would it look like when we can look at the people in our lives and say “Hey, you know what…. you don’t have it all together, but you are figuring it out. You are letting yourself be seen through the brilliance of being vulnerable”.

 

We often try so desperately to hide any form of vulnerability, in the belief it is associated with weakness. However, what if it is not a weakness, but strength? What if vulnerability is the place of connection, love, joy, understanding and acceptance? What if it’s a place you can talk about your imperfections openly, and not feel alone in this “big ol’ world”.

 

What would it mean for women today when being credible and believable is being seen for who and what we truly are, and accepting ourselves and each other for our courage in doing just that. What would it look like when each one of us took responsibility today for the loving outcome of tomorrow.

 

That is the kind of “Today” I would like to be part of!

 

 

 

 

 

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Financial, Job, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships

Feeling Bad = More Bad

Have you ever wondered if you maybe addicted to the feeling flirting gives you?

 

Have you ever really enjoyed the feeling you get when you flirt.  So much so that it makes you want to do it again and again. You feel alive and free, like you are being truly seen for the sweet, sexy rock start that lives deep within, the one that is not acceptable to come out to play often, if ever.

 

So now you are flirting, you are having fun, but a guilt feeling starts to arise within you.  Is this wrong, would my spouse be made and the question of maybe I should stop occurs to you.

 

So you stop, but the longer you stop the more you think about how incredible the flirting made you feel and the more think about that the more guilt arises up, up, up.

 

Here is my question….do we continue to flirt because we love the feeling or because in some way it covers up the guilt we felt in the first place. I mean if we flirt a little more, the thing we did before is not so bad. Now we just have to cover up this flirting guilt, so we do it again and flirt even bigger and so on and so on. You get the picture….yes?

 

What would it look like if when we did something that we felt bad for or guilty for we allowed ourselves to forgive and move forward with no residual guilt. Would we continue to do things we feel are wrong to cover up the feelings of the last thing we did that we feel is wrong or would we be able to let go and grow.

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Job

Positive and Negative Energy

A fun experiment with Positive and Negative Energy

Do you know that the way you talk to others and to yourself can greatly affect your health.  My children and I did an experiment where we filled up two mason jars and put a tablespoon of rice in each one.  On one Mason Jar we drew a heart and placed it on paper that said, I love you, you are great, you are the best.  On the other Mason Jar we wrote on it the word HATE and placed it on paper that said, I hate you, your are wrong, you do nothing right. 

After a short period of time we were amazed at what we found.  The rice in the Mason jar with the word hate on it, had crumbled into a powder looking substance that lay on the bottom of the jar.

 The rice in the love water, stayed whole. 

We found that amazing!

 With hate, worry, fear and negativity we crumble and are unrecognizable.

 With love and positive words, feelings and thoughts we stay whole, knowing the truth of who and what we are and stand strong for the world to appreciate.

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