Beleife Systems, Change, Personal Development, Perspectives, Uncategorized

The Box

So many of us walk around with a big cloud of heavy emotion intertwined within our cells. Some of us know what it is on our own and others need help to discover what it is, that thing, that feeling that is making us feel so lousy.
I have had many clients whether it be grief, anger of fear, it keeps them hostage to experiencing a life less then fully lived. They have a deep resistance to let it go. Sometimes it is because they have lived with it so long and are scared to feel how it would feel without it. Others times it is because they feel they may need that feeling or emotion at some point and do not want to get rid of it, just in case.
For example, I have a client who was experiencing a lot of anger. It was coming out in their marriage, their career, they were drinking more, and they would react negatively to almost every situation. I asked them why they resisted letting go of the anger. Now, please note, anger alone is a very positive emotion, it creates movement, however when there is so much of it and it becomes stagnate, it can cause us harm. Harm in our external experience and our internal bodies. Throughout their session it became clear that they were fearful of the world we live in and wanted to keep the rage and anger, in case they ever needed it to defend and protect. It made complete sense, however their life is not currently in danger and the rage and anger were actually harming their life.
Another client was holding on to loss and the guilt over the loss. They felt that if they let that go, they were dishonoring the loss. The guilt they were caring around was affecting their life dramatically. They were using the guilt and the loss as a way to continuously self sabotage themselves whenever things started to look “too good”.
What to do?
If you are experiencing an excess of emotion or feeling that you are resisting getting rid of, all you have to do is imagine a box to the right or left of your head. Ask all the excess emotional energy to go into that box for safe keeping. Know you can reach up and grab all that emotion anytime you need to. What this does it places the excess energy in a special spot. You still have access to it, but it does not overtake and control your life. These clients did just that, when the emotion comes up, the feeling, the memory, they just place it in the box for safe keeping and keep moving forward.
Works like a charm.
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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Personal Development, Perspectives, Uncategorized

You are too sensitive.

You are sensitive, that is what he said. Yes I am sure that is true, in fact I know it is true.
Why would some people be more sensitive than others? Could it be because those people have seen more, experienced more, felt more and connected to more?
Could it be because those people have a deep connection to the outcomes, immediate and long term of words, feelings and actions from our history and today?
Being sensitive means being connected, being in touch. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive.
If anyone has ever said that to you in a negative way, please remember this: Being sensitive, helps you be a kind human. When someone says or does something that hurts you or makes you angry, do not hold the other person who has brought forth your sensitivity hostage. You will want to free them so you can heal and you can connect and use the learning to help others.
We are shown how we can be of the greatest use to this world, by being shown what we are sensitive about.
Go on, be sensitive, I dare you.

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Financial, Personal Development, Perspectives, Uncategorized

A New Operating System

We all know to change our results, we have to change our thinking. We have to change the patterns that are going on in our mind and allow our actions to reflect that change.
Implementing a new operating system for your mind can take time and it can feel uncomfortable. So much so, that it becomes easy and tempting to go back to the old system. Even though the old system is not what you want running your life, because you did not like the results from that system. It sometimes feels more comfortable then the transition to the new one.
My old system was programmed to tell me to be busy all the time and that would equal the success I wanted. I find out that system must have had a bug in it, because it was the farthest thing from the truth. I missed time with my kids, with my husband, I was not bringing in the number of clients I wanted to or the finances. I was busy, busy all day long, but I am not sure what I got done. I knew I needed a new operating system. I have been at work building this system through personal development for many years, and just a few weeks ago I launched it. Man oh man, was it tough. I wanted to disconnect it and throw it away. My mind was used to being so busy and running every scenario every which way all day long. Now, my mind is still. It freaked me out a little bit. When I say still, I mean 100% improvement from before, but I still have work to do.
I called one of my beloved partners in believing and I said, I am losing my mind, there is nothing in there and it feels uncomfortable. HELP! We chatted. You see most of the time as women we just need someone to hold the space for us to figure our own stuff out. I have manifested the best partners in believing in the world.
The longer the new system was running, the more and more comfortable with it I have become.
Change takes time. It does not always feel good. It is like a mud bath, icky while you are in it, but you come out glowing. If you want something different, you have to do something different. You cannot solve a problem with the same level of mind that created that problem. Go ahead, get comfortable being uncomfortable. Close the door behind you and start thinking your way to the success you desire with your new system. Your system may break down from time to time, but that is why you have surrounded yourself with amazing partners, so they can hold a space for you to fix your loose wire and carry on.

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Beleife Systems, Change, Personal Development, Perspectives

Don’t Mind Your Own Business

Don’t Mind Your Own Business
Today I was at the grocery store as I overheard the lady in front of me speak the cashier as though she knew her and they were exchanging stories about how they each had a child that would never be able to drive. One lady has a child that has a brain tumor, not caner, but it affects their vision. The other lady’s son has undiagnosed seizures. As they were speaking I gently leaned my way into the conversation and asked if they have heard of books by Dr Joe Dispenza. You see I am currently reading, “You are the Placebo” and I am reading about many people who have overcome illness and pain with their minds. Yes, that is right with their minds.
Now this concept is not too uncommon for me as I have 15 years in the energy healing world and the more I treat people, the more I recognize the power they have within them to heal themselves with their mindset. They have way more power to heal themselves, then I do to heal them. I however hold a space for them to do the powerful work of healing themselves.
The ladies had never heard of Dr. Joe Dispenza before, so they wrote the name down and thanked me.
I may never know if they bought the book, if they attend Dr. Dispenza’s seminars, or if their children heal. What I do know is that I had a piece of information that maybe helpful to them and I would be doing a disservice if I did not say anything. For all I know, they will buy the book, they will go to his seminars and their children will heal along with their family growing.
There are too many times we mind our own business. I am not sure about you, but when I was growing up, I was told to mind my own business all the time. The problem with that is that you may be able to help someone, make their day, and change their life. I think we mind our own business too much these days. Many of us would not know if our neighbor was being robbed, because we are minding our own business. Our world is seeking community. Not a judgmental community, but a place where people are looking out for people, where people care, where people will get involved to make it a better place.
There is a difference between being judgmental, sharing your opinion and holding others hostage to that and just sharing information to be helpful. I trust you will figure out the difference and be a trailblazer for not minding your own business, in the powerful uplifting caring loving way.

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Financial, Job, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships, Uncategorized

The Perfect Girl

 

 

Is Perfection the only thing that makes you credible?

What makes a woman credible?

 

According to the Oxford Dictionary Credible chiefly means “able to be believed; convincing. What does a women need to do, be or have before she is considered credible?

 

It is understood by many to, “Never put something out to the world if it is less than perfect. Never say something if it is not perfect. Never do something that is not perfect; because when you do that, it makes you not credible, and no one believes you or takes you seriously.”

 

IS THAT A TRUE STATEMENT?

 

 

That statement made me apple throwing mad! Looking at the entire statement from an expanded perspective, it says, “We are not enough. We must be perfect for people to take us seriously. To be someone that people believe in and admire, we must be perfect”.

 

A woman who has tattoos all over her body and sun-bleached skin… what kind of woman do you believe her to be? A woman with kids running around the store is what type of mother? There must be a loving place in our society where our unique differences can be accepted, appreciated and encouraged.

 

Does the woman who has a clean house, a booming career, who takes her kids to school every morning and picks them up at the end of the day, who volunteers on Parent Council, who always has a clean car inside and out, who has her hair always perfectly in place, who always has her make–up on, and all her clothes are brand name seem credible to you? What do you think of that woman?

 

You think she has it all together. You believe what she says and does because it looks like she has the perfect life, and you want the perfect life, so you admire her because she convinces you that she has it all figured out.

 

The problem is we only see what she is letting us see; we only see the mask of her perfection. But what would happen if she showed the world her true self? What if she showed the tears she cried, her insecurities, and feelings of being a complete failure? What if she showed you that she hates how big her hips are, although she is a size 6? Is she still credible? Do you still believe she has it all together, even though she is no longer perfect? Do you still want to be like that woman, or take advice from her?

 

As the other woman, do you still believe she has it all together or do you now judge her? Do you chit-chat with your friends about how the perfect woman cried, or how she was late one day picking up her kids, or she showed up with no make-up on?

 

Do you outcast her so you do not bring attention to your own inner demons, which you are so desperately trying to hide, so that others will find you perfect and believe in you?

 

What then happens when you cannot hide your own inner demons anymore and the world finds out that you are not perfect at all? In fact your perfection was an illusion. Now that the world can see you, the true real you, are you credible, or are you one of those women who “just do not have their shit together”?

 

If we as women look like we cannot handle all the balls we are throwing up in the air at one time, we are not credible. When we are not perfect, we are not credible. When we cannot do everything perfectly, then no one takes us seriously.

 

What would it look like when we can look at the people in our lives and say “Hey, you know what…. you don’t have it all together, but you are figuring it out. You are letting yourself be seen through the brilliance of being vulnerable”.

 

We often try so desperately to hide any form of vulnerability, in the belief it is associated with weakness. However, what if it is not a weakness, but strength? What if vulnerability is the place of connection, love, joy, understanding and acceptance? What if it’s a place you can talk about your imperfections openly, and not feel alone in this “big ol’ world”.

 

What would it mean for women today when being credible and believable is being seen for who and what we truly are, and accepting ourselves and each other for our courage in doing just that. What would it look like when each one of us took responsibility today for the loving outcome of tomorrow.

 

That is the kind of “Today” I would like to be part of!

 

 

 

 

 

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Beleife Systems, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships

Do you want me or need me?

Want vs Need

What is the difference in a relationship between want and need?

I have been doing a lot of research lately and the evidence is clear that when you are in a relationship it is a bigger turn on to be wanted then needed.  When you are wanted or wanting someone else there is a level of desire, of distance, of mystery.   Thinking about this, this morning, I concluded, the reason why being needed is so important in a relationship is that it provides security.  You want someone to need you to ensure they still want you.

Interesting discovery!

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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Financial, Job, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships

Feeling Bad = More Bad

Have you ever wondered if you maybe addicted to the feeling flirting gives you?

 

Have you ever really enjoyed the feeling you get when you flirt.  So much so that it makes you want to do it again and again. You feel alive and free, like you are being truly seen for the sweet, sexy rock start that lives deep within, the one that is not acceptable to come out to play often, if ever.

 

So now you are flirting, you are having fun, but a guilt feeling starts to arise within you.  Is this wrong, would my spouse be made and the question of maybe I should stop occurs to you.

 

So you stop, but the longer you stop the more you think about how incredible the flirting made you feel and the more think about that the more guilt arises up, up, up.

 

Here is my question….do we continue to flirt because we love the feeling or because in some way it covers up the guilt we felt in the first place. I mean if we flirt a little more, the thing we did before is not so bad. Now we just have to cover up this flirting guilt, so we do it again and flirt even bigger and so on and so on. You get the picture….yes?

 

What would it look like if when we did something that we felt bad for or guilty for we allowed ourselves to forgive and move forward with no residual guilt. Would we continue to do things we feel are wrong to cover up the feelings of the last thing we did that we feel is wrong or would we be able to let go and grow.

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