Bullying is not a new behavior. It is as old as time and it does not seem to matter where you are, if you look round you can see some type of bullying. Whether that be on the school yard, in a family, or at work. The dictionary describes bullying as: use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants. I describe it as a person whose heart is hurt. Here are 5 ways you can help yourself and others, regardless of age, handle bullies.
You must first understand your energy. Everything is energy and there is something in your energy that you are giving off that allows you to be a target for being mistreated. The best news about this is, that you can change that. I will share with you some ways how to do that.
1 Confidence has a big part to play here. Chances are you have felt that for some reason you are not enough. Because you do not fit into the norm, you feel like you don’t belong anywhere. Write a list of all the things that make you “different” then beside that write down the best parts about each of those things.
2 Love and forgiveness are essential when dealing with a bully. Not just for yourself, but for the other person. The bully is bullying you to take the pressure and attention off of them. The problem is when we are scared or even hate them, it lowers our vibration and weakens our energy. People are either calling for love or giving love. The problem is so many are unskilled at their calling for love. Try sending a mental prayer to the bully. When we hold hate, we have to be on guard of it. It takes our time, our attention and our energy. This simple intention will shift your energy and confidence. Even the bully has a story and although it is not right what they are doing, by sending love it shifts both of your energy. Remember, you may be the first person that has shown them compassion.
Example: I do not like the way you behave and it is not right. Your heart must be broken. I wish for healing for you. (said in your mind)
3 No one can make you feel any way in which you do not give them permission to make you feel. It is as if you have a crystal within your heart and when someone is mean to you and you feel sad because of it, it is only because you have allowed that other person to have power over you. You have allowed them to have your crystal. Mentally take your crystal back, knowing that no one can get to you when your crystal is home in your heart.
4 – 1-2-3 Rule – Follow this basic guideline.
Step 1, ask the person to stop
Step 2, tell an adult, if you are an adult, share what is happening with another person. Shame and blame love secrets and they grow in environments of silence. Share what is going on, with a trusted friend, family member or a counselor.
Step 3 – Stand up for yourself. We know physical violence is not the answer, however there are other ways to stand up to someone.
5 – Remember this is happening for a higher purpose. Help someone else. You know how it feels to be bullied. When you see someone else who is sad, angry, upset, lend a hand, an ear, or a shoulder. What you have experienced is not wasted. You have been chosen to experience it so that you can help others.
You are stronger then you will ever know. You are smarter than most and your heart is big and beautiful. The world needs you to shine, so don’t let someone with a hurt heart dim your light. Rise above and become someone they can aspire to be. Remember, maybe they have not had the guidance to be bright and loving. Maybe they are being bullied. None of that makes it ok. Compassion is one of the best healers and confidence builder.