A Confident Daughter!
As I watch young girls today, I remember how it felt to be going through the changes, the insecurities, and the feeling of being invisible. I do not recall the age I started to loose my confidence, looking back I just thought it was something I never had.
What can we do as mothers to help these beautiful souls through this transition time, the transition to unconditional self-love?
Here are 5 ways I have found very useful. I hope they are to you as well.
1 I have noticed that young girls talk, and they talk a lot, about nothing necessary in particular. They need to give you every single detail and play by play. Does your daughter ever come up to you while you are texting, or sending an email and just start to talk? They talk and talk and they know you are not 100% listening. I can only imagine what that is telling their little brains. (No one really wants to hear what I have to say. What I say is not important.) The list must go on and on. The problem is we as parents and them as children are not even aware of it.
When you are doing something and she comes up and starts talking, turn to her and say, “What you have to say is very important, you do not have my full attention right now. Can you please wait a moment and I will let you know when you do have my full attention. “Finish what you are doing and then sit down with her and ask her about the 5 most important parts of the story. That is if you don’t have time to hear the entire thing.
2 Provide as much one on one time with your young lady. It does not have to be an entire day, but if it is, enjoy as the things you can learn from her are amazing. Even if you just have 15 minutes a day to hang out, read and do something she enjoys. Just ensure she gets all of your attention during that time.
3 Most of the time, your daughters are going to turn into a little mini you. When they talk, or laugh, or wine, or do anything people may say.. oh you are just like your mom. In those minutes PLEASE own your awesomeness. There is nothing to be embarrassed about here. She is a beautiful, untainted reflection of your spirit. As you love her unconditionally, you must love yourself unconditionally.
4 It is important to separate our daughters from their actions. For example, never say to your child, you are bad. You would say, you are good, but you made a bad choice. Help your lovely daughter understand the difference between herself, who is always amazing and her choices and her actions. Confidence is bread in this step and is extremely important in the self-confidence of young girls.
5 Do not be afraid to sit in the dark with your little angel. When they have had a bad day and they feel no one likes them anymore sit with them. We are quick to say, but honey, you are amazing. Or something like, well that other person is not nice so just ignore them. That does not make our little girls feel better. It does nothing for them. Sitting in the dark with them means telling them about a time you have felt like they are feeling. Tell them how you felt. It is better that they understand sometimes life is not perfect and they will feel knocked down, but make sure they know they are not alone. They are not the first to feel this way or the last. As women we excel in community and understanding. Raise her confidence by sharing with her she is not alone.