How is this for perspective…
I went into work on Friday Oct 24, 2014 to be called into by boss’s office and told that my job is being restructured. What? I asked. He said that he needed someone to do the work I was doing more than 3 days a week and therefore he was giving the work I do to another girl in the office. What is left for me I wondered? Am I being fired or slowly eliminated? There were so many things that crossed my mind in those couple hours, things such as:
- Why would he have not asked me to work 5 days a week, just in the mornings
- Why not have a conversation with the person (me) doing the work if you are looking for better practices
- Why not have the other girl do the job only when I am not there
Things were not adding up, there was more to the story. After I was told the heart stopping news I thought about it for about an hour as tears filled my eyes and then left again and then filled and left. Could it really be that I was being eliminated with no notice, no reason. After that hour I walked back into my boss’s office and asked for some clarification. It turns out I had made a few mistakes, which of course no one told me about or gave me an opportunity to correct. Everyone makes mistakes and that was not a hug issue he said. But he truthfully wanted to change his process for my job. I just find that so odd that someone that does not do your job knows what is best and they have no desire to include you with the planning of the restructure. Of course it is his company and he does not “have” to, just something that I would ensure I did for people that I wanted to keep, even the ones I did not. I asked if I was being fired or eliminated and he said no.
Why would this be the case, now I have a job but no work…interesting…. A few reasons popped up. Dismissal with no just cause could end up in a law suite and it would much cheaper to have me leave on my own after being humiliated. There would be no one to train the other girl my entire job , and or or maybe he really did like having me there and wanted me to stay.
A few years before he had 2 girls in the office and one lady got sick, leaving one girl. He was in a bad situation and then that girl got sick, probably from being over worked. She did not even receive a thank you for taking care of the office for that period. (That is another story) I do not believe he wants to be in that situation again.
As my boss was speaking he said his reasoning’s were the above along with the fear of me leaving. You see I have other interests. My dream it to become one of the top 10 public speakers in Canada, earning over 25,000 a speech. Big Dream I know, but if you know how to get to your dream, it is just a worthy goal. I am a Dream Builder Coach as well as an Energy Healer. Having this 3 day a week job was a security blanket and now it is fading, being torn up. When I think of it, it is like a baby’s blanket that they sleep with every night and now they are 5 and there is almost nothing left of the blanket or the security it held.
All day long I had waves of sadness, and grief fall over me and my eyes would tear and I would cry. That was my work and now it was taken from me. Most of the office new this before I did of course, days before so they were all quiet and did not know what to say, which in turn made it worse because it made it feel like I was being let go. If it was really not that bad and I still had a job then why did everyone look at me with those eyes of so sorry, we don’t know what to say. In those moments I stated to understand why people get so protective of their work and their jobs as you can be eliminated at any moment t with no warning or anything. There was one co-worker not there that day and when I emailed them about the situation they did not even reply. So now I have lost my work and my friends. GREAT!
Let’s pause here for a moment.
You read I am a Dream Builder correct. In June 2014 I had put it in my calendar that I would be done working for this company. It was time to take my business to the next level. Of course I wanted the clients and money to be there before I left and well that did not happen so I stayed. In fact looking back I got really discouraged with my other businesses and was scared that staying at the job 3 days I week I would fall into the safety and security of it and be a lifer.
Sometimes I wish I did not have aspirations and dreams and a strong desire to follow them. Wouldn’t life be that much simpler, just waking up every morning going to work and coming home and doing the same things over and over and over and over again for the same money your entire life? The truth is doing this work (my coaching and healing) my thoughts have changed and I am not like all the other people. I have a Dream and I know what it is and if I did not entertain it I would never be happy. I did not leave my job in June, instead I put forth a new date of November 24, 2014.
In that time I went to a Dream Builder Live conference and more doors started to open and I became more and more clear on what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go.
See I put out to life I was ready for a change. I am scared of the change and maybe would have never actually took the leap. My boss could be the worst guy ever or he could be an angel helping me to move my life where I want it to be. I get to choose how I see him and this entire situation.
To look at it without attachment it is wonderful. I have no responsibly, I can still go there and do the left over work that no one else wants to, take time off whenever I want, go down to 2 days a week when I want and leave when I want. The situation could not be more perfect.
Now it is my turn to get out here and create my dreams, create clients, create speaking engagements, create that change. It is all so fresh and I am still upset about it not being done my way, but the truth is sometimes life just has other plans. It is not about if it happens it happens any longer. It is about it happening. When one door closes another opens.
I will go back to work on Monday and do my best to smile and see things for how I know them to be, see the bigger brighter picture of it all.
Work can be an interesting thing. I write this to share with you, you are not alone and although sometimes it just flat our sucks there is a silver lining and it is your choice if you see it or not. When something goes crappy wait 3 days and if you cannot see any good in it then allow yourself to get upset, but wait your 3 days. It very well could just be another door opening to a greener pasture. Get honest with yourself. What would you love and could this closed door in any way lead you to an open door of your Dreams. You have to do the work, take the action, but what I know for sure is that Life will show up and meet you. Keep walking. There is a country song with lyrics saying, “if you are going through hell, keep on going before the devil even knows you are there” When things happen that you feel are not great pause for a few days and think of possible solutions. Do not dwell on your problems. Keep moving your thoughts to a solution so you do not get stuck with the “devil” in the land of sorrow and pain. Keep you eye on the vision.