Children, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships

When did you fall in love last?

Why is it so important to recall the feeling of falling in love?


Let me tell you a little story about the first time I consciously know I had falling in love.


When I was a little girl I would go up to my grandparents farm. They had a yellow brick 2 story farmhouse, you know the ones with the farm green roofs.  My aunt and uncle had a trailer they had put additions onto on the other side of the laneway and the barn was directly between the two homes at the end of the laneway.  I loved it there.  I would play with my sister and cousins for hours and hours, in the tree fort, the hey mow, the river…all over the place.  There was one place on the farm that stood out more then any other.  You go in the doors of the barn and up the narrow cracked white washed stairs to the hey mound, through the loft, pass the chicken coop and to the large roll barn doors at the back.  I was so small I could not open them properly, so I would pull with all my might and open them just a crack and sneak through before it closed on me. There was a cement pad out by the silos that overlooked the cow pasture.   That is where I would go to play, cry, remise and most importantly daydream.   I would dream about the man I would one day fall in love with. He would be a farmer, we would have 6 kids, lots of money and be happy, happy, happy. I dreamed of our first date and our first kiss.  I dreamed of his awesome Chevy pick up truck and leather jacket.   I had it all figured out.


As I got older I started to date and of course after the first date I was sure they were the one and I was going to Mary them, yes, I thought that for each of them.   But some I must have felt that a little more then others, because I thought it would be a good idea to bring them up to my grandparents farm, see how they do living my dream life for a weekend.   Well, I brought a couple up and they ended up failing the “farm test” miserably.  So, of course I went home a few weeks later I would find a reason to break up with them.


Then came Shawn.   Our first date we went to a little pub in KW and it was there that I shared with him my “man list”  I shared with him my nonnegotiable, things like, how many kids I would like, what I see my finances like, my spiritual beliefs and family values.  Most men would have hit the door running, at least that is what they tell me when I share this story.  I then asked Shawn if he valued the same things as me.  Looking back, I understand I knew my core values and wanted to insure his were in line with mine and mine his.   It was actually brilliant.

After the first date of course, I thought it would be time to take Shawn to do the “farm test”  But this time I got smart and thought I would give him a mini test first. We had been dating for 6 weeks and it was my fathers side of the families Christmas and I thought it would be a great idea to invite Shawn. What you have to understand is that my grandparents had 12 grandchildren and 11 of us are girls.   When we all get together there is a lot of laughs, hugs and drinks.  Shawn’s family Christmas usually invoved 6 people or so.  This was much different.  I watched him that Christmas joke, and play, but what really caught my attention was they way he played with the little kids. He was so good with them. I could feel my heart start to sink…I was going to have 6 kids remember, so I would require a great father.


It was now time for the “farm test”   I took Shawn up to the farm and that evening my Aunt and Uncle and 2 out of 3 cousins were gone, my grandfather was disceced and there was a cow ready to cave.  We went to check on her with my 13 year old cousin to discover she was going to cave any minute.  We called my grandmother and she made he way out to the barn cane and all to instruct these boys how to deliver this café. I can still hear her tell them….don’t pull until she pushes)  Eventually they delivered this amazing animal with the coaching of my grandmother.  I looked at my mother and she could tell my heart just landed in my stomach and I was a gonner. Totally in love.   Some laugh for the fact I fell in love when I saw him deliver a cow and it is kinda funny really.  But that event told me so much about this man.  He is a team player, he is kind, he is helpful, he will do what it takes to get the job done and not run away…PLUS he delivered a cow, he could surely deliver a baby or two if we could not make it to the hospital.


That is the first moment I recall that I consciously fell in love.   Why is this story so important, it is not the story that is important, it is the feeling of falling in love that is.   When you fall in love you tip the scale of the neutral emotion to love and love is wishing goodness, in fact greatness for someone. I fall in love every day and feel the love I share. I encourage you to do the same.  Remember the feeling of falling in love and feel it as often as you can, as that will make you ready, willing and able to have more love in your life.


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