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What The Heck Is Your Problem?

WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM?”

“I was in a good mood until I went to the store and that clerk had such a sour look on her face. It completely ruined my entire day.”

Sound familiar? How often is it that you have felt that you are in a great mood and then you drive to work or you go somewhere and someone else is sour or you come home only to find your partner complaining about something and it ruined your mood and all of a sudden you turn sour?

A client came in the other night and told me a story of how she was in-line at the deli and the man in front of her was ordering his meat and the young lady behind the counter was miserable.  She was rude to the man, and the man was calm, but surprised.   My client said, she felt compassion for both of them. The man, for the service, but also the young lady behind the counter.   She obviously was upset and did not know how to move herself from the low vibes she was feeling to a place of happiness and service with a smile.  My client was hyper aware of the energy and just stood strong and held a vibe of love and compassion. As the gentleman turned around he caught the smile of my client. They engaged in conversation.   As he left he thanked her for the chat and the lovely smile.  Now it was her turn at the counter with the young lady.  She kept being kind, sending energetic beams of compassion and before she was done that young lady who had a sour scowl on her face, was now a young lady with a glowing smile.

As my client and I spoke about what happened, we started to recognize how often we let others dictate our mood, and manipulate our energy. We fall into the lower energy patterns.  What if more and more people were consciously aware to hold strong in their energy of compassion and love and let others meet them there, instead of lowering their mood to meet someone in a darker place.

There are only two types of people out there. The people who are calling for love and the people that are answering the call. The issue is that most people’s call is so very unskilled.

The next time someone comes across as rude, or moody, just remember this post and hold strong in love and compassion. Let them meet you in the higher vibe.  REMEMBER…as corny as it may sound.  LOVE is what heals and saves our world. So Love away!

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What does a man have to do with it?

To be honest, I am a bit of a feminist, well, more than a bit.  I mean I love men, but I always thought women had more of a sparkle.  To me there was always something about the way a women could listen, hear, understand, show caring and love that is unlike anything in the Universe.  That is not to say that men cannot.  But for me the truth is that men have strengths that we as women should not try to overshadow.  Let them have their incredible strengths.  We as women must wake up to our own strengths.  It is LOVE that heals EVERYTHING and we as women have so much of that instinctively.  We are designed with healing, love and compassion.  We get depressed when we are not utilizing those qualities to our fullest capacity.  We feel the most alive when we can do what is the most natural to us.

So, what does a man have to do with it?  As powerful and incredible as a woman is, it is hard for her to see it all the time.  It came to me last night while watching a movie that a real man will help her see how powerful she truly is.  He will give credit to the way she loves, the intuition she has, and her ability to heal others with her compassionate smile.  He will see the depth of her beauty and hold a space for her to see it herself. It will be in her love for him, for doing that for her that she will have the confidence to shine brighter than any star you have ever seen.

Women do not be intimidated by your light. Men, do not be intimidated by her bright shine.  It is not that she is better, just because she glimmers brighter. She glimmers brighter because your true love holds the space for her to do so.

Thank you to the amazing men strong enough to hold that space for so many of us. Thank you to the women who have the courage to let them do so and shine, shine, shine.

xoxo

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Beleife Systems, Change, Personal Development, Perspectives, Uncategorized

The Box

So many of us walk around with a big cloud of heavy emotion intertwined within our cells. Some of us know what it is on our own and others need help to discover what it is, that thing, that feeling that is making us feel so lousy.
I have had many clients whether it be grief, anger of fear, it keeps them hostage to experiencing a life less then fully lived. They have a deep resistance to let it go. Sometimes it is because they have lived with it so long and are scared to feel how it would feel without it. Others times it is because they feel they may need that feeling or emotion at some point and do not want to get rid of it, just in case.
For example, I have a client who was experiencing a lot of anger. It was coming out in their marriage, their career, they were drinking more, and they would react negatively to almost every situation. I asked them why they resisted letting go of the anger. Now, please note, anger alone is a very positive emotion, it creates movement, however when there is so much of it and it becomes stagnate, it can cause us harm. Harm in our external experience and our internal bodies. Throughout their session it became clear that they were fearful of the world we live in and wanted to keep the rage and anger, in case they ever needed it to defend and protect. It made complete sense, however their life is not currently in danger and the rage and anger were actually harming their life.
Another client was holding on to loss and the guilt over the loss. They felt that if they let that go, they were dishonoring the loss. The guilt they were caring around was affecting their life dramatically. They were using the guilt and the loss as a way to continuously self sabotage themselves whenever things started to look “too good”.
What to do?
If you are experiencing an excess of emotion or feeling that you are resisting getting rid of, all you have to do is imagine a box to the right or left of your head. Ask all the excess emotional energy to go into that box for safe keeping. Know you can reach up and grab all that emotion anytime you need to. What this does it places the excess energy in a special spot. You still have access to it, but it does not overtake and control your life. These clients did just that, when the emotion comes up, the feeling, the memory, they just place it in the box for safe keeping and keep moving forward.
Works like a charm.
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Beleife Systems, Career, Change, Children, Personal Development, Perspectives, Uncategorized

You are too sensitive.

You are sensitive, that is what he said. Yes I am sure that is true, in fact I know it is true.
Why would some people be more sensitive than others? Could it be because those people have seen more, experienced more, felt more and connected to more?
Could it be because those people have a deep connection to the outcomes, immediate and long term of words, feelings and actions from our history and today?
Being sensitive means being connected, being in touch. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive.
If anyone has ever said that to you in a negative way, please remember this: Being sensitive, helps you be a kind human. When someone says or does something that hurts you or makes you angry, do not hold the other person who has brought forth your sensitivity hostage. You will want to free them so you can heal and you can connect and use the learning to help others.
We are shown how we can be of the greatest use to this world, by being shown what we are sensitive about.
Go on, be sensitive, I dare you.

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What Love Can Do

Do you remember being around somebody that is complaining and then you start complaining or someone is worried and then you start to worry or someone is angry with their boss and then you get angry at that boss too?
So many times we jump onto the bandwagon of negativity. What I have found the most helpful in my life is, instead of jumping on the band of negativity, I hold a place of love for the desired outcome.

Think of it this way, if you’re driving and you see someone has driven into the ditch do you a drive into the ditch? If you do, then there are two of you in the ditch and although you maybe great company now you have an even bigger problem, because two of you need to be pulled out, not just one.
If however you decide to stay on the shoulder of the road, throw them a tow rope, then you can pull them out. You can help them come up from the ditch because you stayed up and did not drive down to where they were.
That is really what holding a space of love is at all about. It is about not jumping down into the gutter with someone else. It is about holding a space of love for them to rise up too.
There were two brothers that got into an argument that could have easily divided an extremely close family. Each brother had 3 daughters. Although the daughters did not consciously know what they were doing, they stuck together and they kept holding the vision holding a place for their two fathers to rekindle. Years went by and nothing happened but the girls remained tight. Then eventually they were at a gathering and to everyone’s surprise, they saw their fathers starting to laugh, to smile, to talk.
Things will never be as they were, but those two brothers laugh and joke and excel in each other’s company to this day. Each time the girls see their fathers rekindling brotherly love they look at one another and smile. They did not know what they did, but I do. Those girls did not jump down into the gutter with their fathers. They held a place of love for the two brothers. They did not meet them in their anger, in their fear, in their worry. They stayed above it all so the brothers had a place to rise out and up to.
Hold a space of desired outcome. Hold a space of love. When you pray, pray with a held space for love. For this is just one more way love is saving each of us, love is saving our world.

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Career, Change, Job, Uncategorized

Why do people Quit?

The number one reason people quit is because “it” has not happened yet. In today’s world of immediate gratification, many of us forget the skill and the benefit of hard work, sticking it out and resilience.
That being said that same mindset can keep us stuck in unhappiness and contraction. It would be beneficial for us to embrace the concept of quitting as well. (Some of you reading would benefit by embracing the concept of sticking with it, while others of you will benefit from the concept of letting go. This blog is for the people needing some help letting go.)
As humans we are continually seeking fuller, expanded expression. To fulfill that longing we have to be able to let go of the old, embrace the present to make way for the future. Each thing we do is a stepping stone to where life wants us to be, to do the best work we can do. If your dream is to be a public speaker, life may have to take you on a few different paths to help you gain skills and raise your confidence. It may not look like the path to becoming a speaker at the time, however upon reflection you know you were on the perfect path to prepare you to share you gifts with the world. Please do not be afraid to do something new. Do not be scared of shifting your focus. If it is calling you, move towards it. Try something that makes your energy, your heart expand. I remember when my husband got laid off from a job he was with for 10 plus years. After that it took 4 years and various companies for him to find his current company. A company that fits him perfectly. The people, the management, the work, the timing, the pay. He had to be able to start at other companies, and leave them for him to end up in that “perfect” place. Trust yourself, try something new. Ensure you give it the time it needs for your expansion. There is a difference between quitting because it is not happening yet, and moving in the direction that expands you.

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Career, Change, Children, Parenting, Personal Development, Perspectives, Relationships, Uncategorized

BUSTING THROUGH BULLYING

Bullying is not a new behavior. It is as old as time and it does not seem to matter where you are, if you look round you can see some type of bullying. Whether that be on the school yard, in a family, or at work. The dictionary describes bullying as: use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants. I describe it as a person whose heart is hurt. Here are 5 ways you can help yourself and others, regardless of age, handle bullies.
You must first understand your energy. Everything is energy and there is something in your energy that you are giving off that allows you to be a target for being mistreated. The best news about this is, that you can change that. I will share with you some ways how to do that.

1 Confidence has a big part to play here. Chances are you have felt that for some reason you are not enough. Because you do not fit into the norm, you feel like you don’t belong anywhere. Write a list of all the things that make you “different” then beside that write down the best parts about each of those things.

2 Love and forgiveness are essential when dealing with a bully. Not just for yourself, but for the other person. The bully is bullying you to take the pressure and attention off of them. The problem is when we are scared or even hate them, it lowers our vibration and weakens our energy. People are either calling for love or giving love. The problem is so many are unskilled at their calling for love. Try sending a mental prayer to the bully. When we hold hate, we have to be on guard of it. It takes our time, our attention and our energy. This simple intention will shift your energy and confidence. Even the bully has a story and although it is not right what they are doing, by sending love it shifts both of your energy. Remember, you may be the first person that has shown them compassion.
Example: I do not like the way you behave and it is not right. Your heart must be broken. I wish for healing for you. (said in your mind)

3 No one can make you feel any way in which you do not give them permission to make you feel. It is as if you have a crystal within your heart and when someone is mean to you and you feel sad because of it, it is only because you have allowed that other person to have power over you. You have allowed them to have your crystal. Mentally take your crystal back, knowing that no one can get to you when your crystal is home in your heart.

4 – 1-2-3 Rule – Follow this basic guideline.
Step 1, ask the person to stop
Step 2, tell an adult, if you are an adult, share what is happening with another person. Shame and blame love secrets and they grow in environments of silence. Share what is going on, with a trusted friend, family member or a counselor.
Step 3 – Stand up for yourself. We know physical violence is not the answer, however there are other ways to stand up to someone.

5 – Remember this is happening for a higher purpose. Help someone else. You know how it feels to be bullied. When you see someone else who is sad, angry, upset, lend a hand, an ear, or a shoulder. What you have experienced is not wasted. You have been chosen to experience it so that you can help others.
You are stronger then you will ever know. You are smarter than most and your heart is big and beautiful. The world needs you to shine, so don’t let someone with a hurt heart dim your light. Rise above and become someone they can aspire to be. Remember, maybe they have not had the guidance to be bright and loving. Maybe they are being bullied. None of that makes it ok. Compassion is one of the best healers and confidence builder.

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